Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar Do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?

It is a common belief that sugary products should be increased cost due to it unhealthy proportions that lead to many diseases so that citizens are less likely to using sugar. In my point of view, I partly agree with the idea that have already mentioned above.
To start with, because of the increase in materials' cost, producers will decrease the number of comodities that contain sugar. Furthermore, when the supply decline, but the demand still remain, the price of sugar merchandises will continue that inhabitans will chose other kind of food and drink to eat. For instance, according to a survey, if Coca Cola rise it cost to 5%, most of citizens will change their mornings' drinks to others.
One the other hand, health education can also help people to consume less commodity that contain high proportion of sugar. Health presentations about diseases such as diabetes, obesity and so on should be organized to raise habitants' awareness. To exemplify, one survey have ascertained that citizens who finish one diet class will eat more healthy than they were in the past, which is an increase of 70%. Beside that it is more efficient if many competitions or challenges about using less sugary are celebrated. People always want to be rewarding that they will be motivated more. From a psychologic research, students from Toronto University admit that they have more energy and motivation when compete with their peers.
To sum up, it is not only a way to encourage inhabitant cut down on sugary drinks and food that include exchange the cost of supply or organise the health education class, competition, challenges. Because of that, I partly agree with the issue that have already mentioned above.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 261, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'choose'
Suggestion: choose
...ises will continue that inhabitans will chose other kind of food and drink to eat. Fo...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 374, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the citizens') or simply say ''most citizens''.
Suggestion: most of the citizens; most citizens
...urvey, if Coca Cola rise it cost to 5%, most of citizens will change their mornings drinks to ot...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, if, so, still, for instance, kind of, such as, to start with, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 7.30460921844 246% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 41.998997996 102% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1421.0 1615.20841683 88% => OK
No of words: 285.0 315.596192385 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98596491228 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10876417139 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61282204281 2.80592935109 93% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 176.041082164 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.585964912281 0.561755894193 104% => OK
syllable_count: 450.9 506.74238477 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.76152304609 189% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.7729122442 49.4020404114 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.307692308 106.682146367 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9230769231 20.7667163134 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.30769230769 7.06120827912 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.273116723382 0.244688304435 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0892201637594 0.084324248473 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0677245867864 0.0667982634062 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150859408008 0.151304729494 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0560448607108 0.056905535591 98% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 13.0946893788 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 50.2224549098 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.4159519038 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 78.4519038076 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.