The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world . School Should cut art and music out of the curricular, so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent you agree ?

Essay topics:

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world . School Should cut art and music out of the curricular, so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent you agree ?

It is often said that art and music do not have many benefits for children’s preparation in the modern life. Personally, I agree with this to some extent; However, I believe that school should not remove art and music out of the program.
On one hand, children should focus on helpful courses for some reasons. First of all, It is obvious that without studying art and music, children can concentrate better to study in school with a few of the courses. For example, besides the time for studying in school, children can learn how doing the research or do the project, which require them spend a great amount of time understanding and broadening the knowledge. As a result, children can get high marks in school and also acknowledge some new aspects. An other good point is that focusing on useful subjects will help children to get a good job in a modern life. With a development of technology today, many kinds of work such as web designer, computer engineer, finance management and the like, which ask students to have a specialized knowledge in these fields. It is clear that studying useful subjects in school is really good for student in future life.
On the other hand, I believe that School should not eliminate art and music out of cirricular. Art and music have a positive impact on every member of society especially children. To begin with, It helps students to relax after hard – working time. Art and music are subjects which do not require students to do so many essays or need to have logical thinkings. In fact, this allows children to feel free from creating anything they want in classes. Therefore, children can reduce pressures in school life. In addition, these classes provide a great environment for children to improve their team work skills. For example, in order to have a beautiful music time, each member in all sections in class must understand each other. In short, art and music classes can help people feel relaxed and improve their team work skills.
In conclusion, I agree that art and music do not bring many benefits for children’s preparation. But, I think that school should not cancel art and music program in school.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)

Comments

children can learn how doing the research or do the project
children can learn how to do the research or do the project

Sentence: On the other hand, I believe that School should not eliminate art and music out of cirricular.
Error: cirricular Suggestion: circular ??

flaws:
1.No. of Different Words: 177 200 //need more different words.

We are expecting:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

first of all, remove those transition words like: 'I believe that'

2. need more sentences varieties. look, most of sentences start with subjects 'Art and music', 'children '

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1737 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.657 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.419 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.319 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.368 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5