In some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Growing youth is the most important part of all cultures and believes. Their growth and development depends a lot howthey are brought up. It is seen that in some cultures children are brought up with the belief that every thing is possible in their life if they work hard. This essay will ellabirate positive and negative impacts of this believe.
Firstly, there are numerous advantages for the way children are brought up with the believe that working focussed and hard will make every goal achieveable. One of the benefit is that this will give more confidence and self control in kids to focuss themselves to a goal. They will work hard to reach to their goal. Another advantage is building up strong personality in growing kids. For example a research study in DSM 4 book of psychiatry showed that 90 percent of kids who are more focussed to a goal at an early age, are more succesful and healthy in their paractical life. Thus it is more worth to train children that every thing is achievalbe if they work hard
Although there are advantages of this believe yet there are some shortcomings too. Firstly, sometimes no matter what ever some one try to get to a task, still it is not succesful. There could be some un foreseen reasons which will cause depression and anxiety in children. Secondly, sometime children set up high goals by looking other people in community. To achieve those high un realistic goals make them to do illegal ways to reach their set up goals. This trend brings more children towards criminal activities.

In my opinion, it is good to train children with the believe that working hard is the key to reach to their goals but at the same time their luck is an other important factor. It would be benificial if they set up reasonable goals and focuss them with their effort, but if cannot reach their that there are many other options .

Votes
Average: 6.2 (9 votes)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 339, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
...e positive and negative impacts of this believe. Firstly, there are numerous adva...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... and negative impacts of this believe. Firstly, there are numerous advantages f...
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Line 2, column 86, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...or the way children are brought up with the believe that working focussed and hard will mak...
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Line 2, column 90, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
...he way children are brought up with the believe that working focussed and hard will mak...
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Line 2, column 584, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...l and healthy in their paractical life. Thus it is more worth to train children that...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... thing is achievalbe if they work hard Although there are advantages of this be...
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Line 3, column 43, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
... Although there are advantages of this believe yet there are some shortcomings too. Fi...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hildren towards criminal activities. In my opinion, it is good to train child...
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Line 5, column 52, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...nion, it is good to train children with the believe that working hard is the key to reach t...
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Line 5, column 56, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
..., it is good to train children with the believe that working hard is the key to reach t...
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Line 5, column 152, Rule ID: AN_OTHER[1]
Message: Did you mean 'another'? This word sequence is usually spelled together.
Suggestion: another
...oals but at the same time their luck is an other important factor. It would be benificia...
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Line 5, column 328, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... their that there are many other options .
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, look, second, secondly, so, still, thus, for example, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 13.1623246493 167% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 7.85571142285 102% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 24.0651302605 150% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 43.0 41.998997996 102% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1538.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 329.0 315.596192385 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67477203647 5.12529762239 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25891501996 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42734649757 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 176.041082164 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.507598784195 0.561755894193 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 473.4 506.74238477 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 16.0721442886 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.2975951904 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.2974024783 49.4020404114 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.4705882353 106.682146367 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3529411765 20.7667163134 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.41176470588 7.06120827912 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.01903807615 239% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.9879759519 201% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.234076238205 0.244688304435 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.084449857466 0.084324248473 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0652326533206 0.0667982634062 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149634345764 0.151304729494 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.045727612176 0.056905535591 80% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 13.0946893788 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 50.2224549098 138% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 11.3001002004 73% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 12.4159519038 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.36 8.58950901804 86% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 78.4519038076 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.1190380762 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.7795591182 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.