In some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Essay topics:

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Recently, whether trying hard can result in achievements or not has been a controversial issue, not least in terms of children, in many parts of the world. It is argued that adults should tell children that if they want to gain achievements, they have to pay effort. Nevertheless, I maintain that this way does not make perfect sense for certain reasons which are put forward in this essay.
On the one hand, people usually believe:” Harder than smarter” because trying hard can help people to improve skills and be accomplished in their fields, even when they do not have talents related to these. For instance, if youngsters want to be athletes in running; however, their health cannot meet entry requirements, they have to do exercise every day and enhance the level of their physical training to outperform in comparison with others. Also, achieving their goals by trying hard can improve the sense of well-being. Indeed, children are proud of themselves due to the reward for their effort, and they never regret when they give up.
On the other hand, I claim that parents must let children know that trying hard is not the only thing for achievements to avoid being depressed. Indeed, apart from the effort, the lucky element is indispensable for any competition. For example, if children are good enough, but they have to withstand health problems while doing tests, only harder cannot help them to reach their achievements. Besides, adults must encourage children to pursue something appropriate to their abilities. For example, deaf children cannot have the ability to appreciate the value of music even when trying hard.
In conclusion, while encouraging children to pay effort can make them being proficient in their fields and boost the sense of happiness, I am inclined that children should know that only trying hard cannot do anything because luck and abilities are necessary.

Votes
Average: 6.7 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 41, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '“' seems to be missing
...On the one hand, people usually believe:” Harder than smarter” because trying har...
^
Line 2, column 62, Rule ID: EN_UNPAIRED_BRACKETS
Message: Unpaired symbol: '“' seems to be missing
...le usually believe:” Harder than smarter” because trying hard can help people to ...
^
Line 2, column 405, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'outperforming'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: outperforming
...ce the level of their physical training to outperform in comparison with others. Also, achiev...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, however, if, nevertheless, so, well, while, apart from, for example, for instance, in conclusion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 24.0651302605 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1588.0 1615.20841683 98% => OK
No of words: 312.0 315.596192385 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08974358974 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20279927342 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67389921559 2.80592935109 95% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551282051282 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 462.6 506.74238477 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.1531085305 49.4020404114 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.153846154 106.682146367 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0 20.7667163134 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3846153846 7.06120827912 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.304480224368 0.244688304435 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11994045543 0.084324248473 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.061136927068 0.0667982634062 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.203725093278 0.151304729494 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329975257246 0.056905535591 58% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 13.0946893788 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 50.2224549098 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 12.4159519038 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.58950901804 97% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 78.4519038076 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.