In some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Essay topics:

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It is true that in some countries, there is a convention of adults promoting the idea that kids can realise their dreams by trying hard enough. While insisting that message exerts several merits and demerits on children.
On the one hand, we should admit that there are noticeale benefits when pupils believe in that saying. To begin with, if kids become mature under that kind of encouragement, they will gain more confidence when they grow up, which leaves a solid foundation for their future adult life. Since in the workplace, individuals are expected to face more difficulties, while those who are more confident show less doubt on themselves, leading to higher effiency and productivity. What is more is that, students who are told to try their best might have better academic performance that their counterparts, which means better career prospects as well.
On the other hand, we should not neglect the negative impacts assosiated with this saying. Firstly, teenagers show a tendency of being desperate when they find that they fail to achieve the goal even though they have tried their best. Unlike adults, teenagers donnot knows well about themselves as elder people do, which means they might not bear the failure, especially when people around him/her put too much expectation on them, insisting that they can realise it. Secondly, by pushing kids to work harder to meet elder the target, they will live under the negative peer pressure which they cannot manage to afford it. Last but not least, when children fail, the only reason pops into their mind would be they have not put enough effort, instead of making critical thinking of other possible causes.
In conclusion, each coin has its two sides, the benifits and drawbacks coexist when considering about this issue.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 60, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...some countries, there is a convention of adults promoting the idea that kids can ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, well, while, in conclusion, kind of, it is true, to begin with, what is more, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 22.0 7.30460921844 301% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 40.0 24.0651302605 166% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 35.0 41.998997996 83% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1492.0 1615.20841683 92% => OK
No of words: 295.0 315.596192385 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05762711864 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14434120667 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42905424192 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 176.041082164 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.64406779661 0.561755894193 115% => OK
syllable_count: 441.0 506.74238477 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.8263619298 49.4020404114 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.333333333 106.682146367 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5833333333 20.7667163134 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.8333333333 7.06120827912 168% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246264046805 0.244688304435 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.082265587982 0.084324248473 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0579479965128 0.0667982634062 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133223923498 0.151304729494 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.082761057454 0.056905535591 145% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 13.0946893788 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 50.2224549098 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.4159519038 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.79 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 78.4519038076 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.