Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial for their future career and therefore other subjects such as music and sports are not important To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial for their future career and therefore other subjects such as music and sports are not important.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Countries in different corners of the world vary from each other in terms of their education systems and their concentration on distinguishing fields in educating the young generation. In lots of areas, people strongly believe that children should only be taught academic disciplines which are beneficial for them in the future and thus, other subjects such as sports or music are underestimated. Personally, I disagree with this idea.
Firstly, instead of gaining more knowledge from intellectual disciplines in school, studying other fields intensively can support children develop themselves physically, mentally and socially. Indeed, lots of researches show that combining subjects in multi-aspects is one of the most effective education methods for learners. More specifically, students who are taught sports and attend in sport classes have a tendency to become more flexible and stronger than those who only focus on learning mathematics, physics or history. Furthermore, arts subjects such as music, painting or dancing can help children get out of suffering from stress and pressure and, as the result, they also support children in terms of mental development. Additionally, attending sports or music classes is considered as a great opportunity for children to enlarge their social cycle. In short, although student’s grasp of academic subjects is extremely important and necessary for their future career, other fields should not be underestimated because they can help children develop comprehensively.
Lastly, children differ from each other in their own strength and individual talent, therefore, ignorance teaching sports and arts subjects at schools can dampen students’ enthusiasm who are gifted at these fields. In fact, children will easily be frustrated if they are forced to study subjects they don’t expect. For instance, schooling can gradually be tedious for children who are talented at music and have expectations to become singers in the future if they have to choose history, literature or mathematics in the school. Another example can be found in students who want to work as professional athletics when they get more mature. Obviously, these students probably have an ideal studying environment to improve their strength when they are taught sports and practice regularly in the school equiped full of sports facilities. That is the reason why teaching sports and other subjects at schools can inspire students who hold expectation for working in these fields in the future.
As discussed, apart from teaching intellectual disciplines, no one can deny the significance of others subjects such as music or sports because of their benefits for children’s physical, mental and social development.

Votes
Average: 8.2 (2 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 34, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ure. As discussed, apart from teaching intellectual disciplines, no one can den...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, if, lastly, so, therefore, thus, apart from, for instance, in fact, in short, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 10.4138276553 192% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 24.0651302605 104% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 41.998997996 117% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2336.0 1615.20841683 145% => OK
No of words: 416.0 315.596192385 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.61538461538 5.12529762239 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.20363070211 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05169949741 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 176.041082164 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519230769231 0.561755894193 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 698.4 506.74238477 138% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 52.1691584535 49.4020404114 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.0 106.682146367 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 20.7667163134 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5 7.06120827912 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.337501111109 0.244688304435 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.122381532982 0.084324248473 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0890886790268 0.0667982634062 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.23926572128 0.151304729494 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0467392532976 0.056905535591 82% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.0 13.0946893788 137% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 50.2224549098 73% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 11.3001002004 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.61 12.4159519038 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.52 8.58950901804 111% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 78.4519038076 154% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 9.78957915832 133% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.