Some people think that school should reward students who show the best academic results while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements Discuss both views and give your own opinion

A considerable number of people suppose that schools should applaud students achieving the highest results in learning and examinations. Meanwhile, others claim that it is better to emphasize more on extolling students who tried hard and can express enhancements in studying. Despite the fact that 2 opinions have particular explanations, I would agree with the second one.
On the one hand, it is believed that rewarding students who have the best academic performances will bolster a strong sense of competition among students. According to this belief, when a group of students is praised for getting high marks in the exams or having a perfect GPA in the final semester, other students will look up to them and consider these results to be their goal as well as inspiration. As a result, more and more students will spend more time and effort studying to not fall behind and finally outdo their peers. For example, most Vietnamese educational institutions select the best students with the highest final GPA to reward with money or valuable presents, in this way, the number of hard-working students increases from generation to generation.
On the other hand, schools had better praise students who show improvements in the studying process for certain reasons. Firstly, hard work and improvements usually are missed in hustle and bustle of life, therefore, when students are recognized for getting a higher level compared to the previous one, they will be extremely grateful for their efforts and continue trying. In other words, this kind of reward benefits students more in the long run with regard to the fact that high marks can generate vanity, gradually, students might overrate themselves and fall behind. Besides, applauding students’ enhancements tends to put less pressure on others’ shoulders. Consequently, fewer students commit suicide as they do in such competitive education environments in Japan.
In conclusion, although rewarding students who achieve greater academic performance could be a source of motivation, I would approve with the viewpoint that improvements bring students more long-term benefits due to the aforementioned discussion.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 158, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[4]
Message: The adverb 'usually' is usually put after the verb 'are'.
Suggestion: are usually
...ns. Firstly, hard work and improvements usually are missed in hustle and bustle of life, th...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, consequently, finally, first, firstly, if, look, second, so, therefore, well, while, for example, in conclusion, kind of, as a result, as well as, in other words, with regard to, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 24.0651302605 87% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 41.998997996 107% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1837.0 1615.20841683 114% => OK
No of words: 339.0 315.596192385 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.41887905605 5.12529762239 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29091512845 4.20363070211 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94042742081 2.80592935109 105% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 176.041082164 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575221238938 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 546.3 506.74238477 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 59.1960937461 49.4020404114 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.307692308 106.682146367 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0769230769 20.7667163134 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 15.7692307692 7.06120827912 223% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.34403728165 0.244688304435 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.129023637417 0.084324248473 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.065795798244 0.0667982634062 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.219388552494 0.151304729494 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0141564925371 0.056905535591 25% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.1 13.0946893788 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 50.2224549098 90% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.4159519038 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.44 8.58950901804 110% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 78.4519038076 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.