Whether or not someone achievies their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

Whether or not someone achievies their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that the determinant factor to get the point is fortune instead of hard – working or effort. However I definitely disagree with this opinion.

I advocate the notion that people who determined and industrious will be succesful in obtaining their goal. For example, Steve Jobs who spent lots of time to make a great Macintosh operating system that we use today. Another clear case of effort is Nguyen Ngoc Ky, one of the most famous teacher in Viet Nam. Although not having hands, he relies on his foots to write and do all activities. He also create foundation to help childrens who fall in unfortunate situations can make their dream come true. He is one of the famous teacher who inspire motivation for all people in Viet Nam.

By contrast, people who always rely on lucky to achieving their goal will be dissapointed. Firstly, If students does not learning or exercising before exams, they will certainly fail in that exam, no matter how lucky they may be. Secondly, lucky usually come up with everybody in short time and not lasting in the long run. Take lottery as an example. People who buy lottery will win at some moments and do not need any effort or studious. But they can not meet lucky for the rest of their life. And even, If someone is too hope in fortune, it will prevent them from hard- working and diligence to get a long- term aims.

In conclusion, I would certainly argue that people should industrious and determined to attain their goal or passion till the end.

Votes
Average: 1.1 (1 vote)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 107, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ne instead of hard – working or effort. However I definitely disagree with this opinion...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 400, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'creates'.
Suggestion: creates
...to write and do all activities. He also create foundation to help childrens who fall i...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 122, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'learn'
Suggestion: learn
...apointed. Firstly, If students does not learning or exercising before exams, they will c...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 521, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to hope'?
Suggestion: to hope
... of their life. And even, If someone is too hope in fortune, it will prevent them from h...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 525, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'hoped'.
Suggestion: hoped
...their life. And even, If someone is too hope in fortune, it will prevent them from h...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, for example, in conclusion, in short

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 24.0651302605 104% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 41.998997996 76% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1242.0 1615.20841683 77% => OK
No of words: 266.0 315.596192385 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.66917293233 5.12529762239 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03850299372 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45170434661 2.80592935109 87% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 176.041082164 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.624060150376 0.561755894193 111% => OK
syllable_count: 380.7 506.74238477 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.9328424978 49.4020404114 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 77.625 106.682146367 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.625 20.7667163134 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.4375 7.06120827912 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0777984626278 0.244688304435 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0260361365497 0.084324248473 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0209266089744 0.0667982634062 31% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.044303120844 0.151304729494 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00814939583615 0.056905535591 14% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 13.0946893788 68% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 50.2224549098 144% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 11.3001002004 64% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.51 12.4159519038 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.58950901804 91% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 78.4519038076 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.