Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Some persons hold the view that close relatives should involve in upbringing children so that ‎parents alongside parental and maternal families raise their own children. I think, however, ‎there are some ‎compelling reasons that parents are the only ones ‎eligible to care for their ‎offspring.‎
An upbringing handled by the extended family poses serious troubles. To begin with, Parents, ‎‎grandparents, uncles, and aunts each one has its own way of nurturing and think ‎probably ‎different that virtually causes conflict between them. Accordingly, reaching a ‎consensus on a ‎proper method of nurturing children is practically impossible. As a result, children ‎have to ‎follow a range of disparate guidelines resulting in hindering children from a ‎stable upbringing. ‎In fact, a ‎stable upbringing plays a crucial role in the well-being that interferences in parents’ ‎nurturing could mislead it.‎
Moreover, from the psychological angle, a mature nurturing completely relies on (is attributed ‎to) forging ‎a strong emotional bond. while the close-knit relationship between parents and ‎children‎ definitely has overriding priority over other relationships, intervention from relatives ‎in raising children can hurt this imperative matter. For instance, on some occasions, parents ‎want to punish their child for his misbehavior and it is possible that others like grandparents ‎deter them from that. Accordingly, in the children’s view, whereas they are seen as a hero, ‎parents are labeled as cruel persons. As a result, it triggers off a gap between parents and ‎children so that endanger their emotional ties. Therefore, since the associating of relatives in ‎upbringing children has irreparable emotional damage, parents have to be exclusively ‎responsible for bringing up children.‎
To conclude, due to that the participation of relatives in raising children threatens the stable ‎upbringing as well as children’s emotional health, I strongly believe that parents are only ‎qualified persons for this vital task.‎

Votes
Average: 4.1 (2 votes)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 133, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...d ‎to forging ‎a strong emotional bond. while the close-knit relationship between par...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, but, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, well, whereas, while, for instance, i think, in fact, as a result, as well as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 7.30460921844 137% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 41.998997996 95% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1804.0 1615.20841683 112% => OK
No of words: 300.0 315.596192385 95% => OK
Chars per words: 6.01333333333 5.12529762239 117% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16179145029 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.42925971927 2.80592935109 122% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 176.041082164 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.623333333333 0.561755894193 111% => OK
syllable_count: 518.4 506.74238477 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.2975951904 133% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 88.2164880299 49.4020404114 179% => OK
Chars per sentence: 164.0 106.682146367 154% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.2727272727 20.7667163134 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.4545454545 7.06120827912 191% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.040857610181 0.244688304435 17% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0176022572984 0.084324248473 21% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0216683954969 0.0667982634062 32% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0287831943171 0.151304729494 19% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00577322116662 0.056905535591 10% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.5 13.0946893788 157% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 50.2224549098 71% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 11.3001002004 133% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 17.87 12.4159519038 144% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.34 8.58950901804 120% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 78.4519038076 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.1190380762 126% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.