Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and example to explain your answer.
I opposite with the statement, says that the zoo has no useful goal. I think that the minimum benefit of building a zoo, is providing entertainment for people. Constructing a park or building for keeping various animals is a modern technique of new human life to interview and meet animal's natural life. But there are two considerable issues for me to evaluate such efforts.
At first, I want to enumerate some positive role of using zoos and support an increasing number of them. I believe that this is a very important for humankind to be informative about animal lives and their conditions. Because animals such as human have a right to use natural sources of the earth, however nowadays human with unnatural using of the universe deform animal habitats and life. With interviewing the zoos, people would be aware of others’ right and might change their habits.
But another concern I have is the condition of animals in zoos. Maybe using force to keep animals in some limited and unnatural place, make them unhappy and nervous. In addition might decrease their natural number in nature. Some animal should evolve in free forest, not in city place, which full of noise and pollutions. I remembered a month ago, animals in a zoo in my country died, because their keeping condition have less necessary factors.
In the sum of my points, I believe that if humans could make zoos a place that have the comfortable situation for animals and they would be aware of factors which is essential for keeping them, I appreciate and supply using and building zoos. I think that if we aware of the conditions of this activity, it is rational to make building and using zoo as a useful purpose.
Sentence: I opposite with the statement, says that the zoo has no useful goal.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to I and opposite
this is a very important for humankind
this is very important for humankind
Maybe using force to keep animals in some limited and unnatural place, make them unhappy and nervous
Maybe using force to keep animals in some limited and unnatural place makes them unhappy and nervous
not in city place, which full of noise and pollutions.
not in city place, which is full of noise and pollutions.
because their keeping condition have less necessary factors.
because their keeping conditions have less necessary factors.
factors which is essential
factors which are essential
Sentence: I think that if we aware of the conditions of this activity, it is rational to make building and using zoo as a useful purpose.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to we and aware
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 17 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 292 350
No. of Characters: 1361 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.134 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.661 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.532 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.381 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5