Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Celebrities are people that can have impact on society members’ perspective, however their acceptability is different among generations. Personally thinking, I believe that celebrity’s opinions are more important to younger people compared to older people. I will give three reasons to support my perspective.
First, young people usually are seeking a pattern to follow. The pattern can be celebrities, writers and thinkers. They think that celebrities are valid persons which all of their actions are true. For example, my cousin loves a soccer player. He try to make up his hair like the athlete. He always choose cloths to be similar with the player. Even my cousin’s gestures are similar to him. In total, my cousin try to follow the soccer’s player lifestyle. Even he try to persuade others to follow the player. His father is in opposite side and always castigate him. Thus, opinion of a celebrity such as fashion style, quotes, gestures and behaviors are more important to young people.
Following above, young people are more interested to celebrity’s opinions because they want to be member of a group of peoples which like the celebrity. As humans are social creature, all of always want to be in societies that are match with our favorites. It make us to feel more confidence. One of my friends likes body building. He always read their magazine and watch body building athlete’s interviews. He usually repeats quotes and statements of body building athletes. His life is dedicated to them. Most of his friends are body builders. His father used to be body building fan too. Now, his is ignore it. He says that I can’t do body building anymore, so I don’t mind what they say. So, being in a group that is similar to our interesting can be effective in shaping our perspective. Perspective which is presenting by celebrities.
In conclusion, young people are more influenced by celebrities. They are more susceptible to famous persons. They think that following celebrities make them valid in society, and that, easily can be a part of special group.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 248, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'tries'.
Suggestion: tries
...le, my cousin loves a soccer player. He try to make up his hair like the athlete. H...
^^^
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'chooses'.
Suggestion: chooses
...up his hair like the athlete. He always choose cloths to be similar with the player. E...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 474, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'tries'.
Suggestion: tries
...soccer's player lifestyle. Even he try to persuade others to follow the player...
^^^
Line 5, column 266, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...s that are match with our favorites. It make us to feel more confidence. One of my f...
^^^^
Line 5, column 614, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'ignored'.
Suggestion: ignored
...o be body building fan too. Now, his is ignore it. He says that I can't do body b...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, so, thus, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 15.1003584229 179% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalization wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1767.0 1977.66487455 89% => OK
No of words: 344.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13662790698 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30665032142 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00747081095 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523255813953 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 558.0 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.6003584229 146% => OK
Sentence length: 11.0 20.1344086022 55% => Sentence length is too short
Sentence length SD: 33.9425822366 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 58.9 100.406767564 59% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 11.4666666667 20.6045352989 56% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 2.16666666667 5.45110844103 40% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.88709677419 266% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213646042002 0.236089414692 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0548003719039 0.076458572812 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0697436955811 0.0737576698707 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146328333111 0.150856017488 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0326240847228 0.0645574589148 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.5 11.7677419355 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.31 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 11.35 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.002688172 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 6.4 10.0537634409 64% => Gunning_fog is low.
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.