Do you agree or disagree: It’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance centers than to build recreational facilities (such as swimming pool and playgrounds)?
No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that governments spent a lot of money in different areas to provide an appropriate situation for blooming people in the societies. This money should be the expense in a optimize manner which all people in the society could be gain specific profit by using the various services provided by the governments. Not all people concur when this issue arises. To being cognizant to the logic behind those who endorse or repudiate the legitimacy of this contention, not having any biased perception, I presume that devoted money for establishment new art museums and music performance center is most profitable for the societies in comparing with some entertainment facilities. Among a plentitude of reason in support of this assertion, cultural and social effect of this action could be picked out for further analysis.
To commence with, a consensus has yet to be reached; however, regarding the importance of the culture in the prosperity of the society, based upon the statistics of different general questionnaires in sundry countries, people are unanimous about the conviction that music and art are the indicators of the culture in each place. To elucidate on, people with a deep background in this area are more flourish and could provide a better lifestyle standards for themselves; moreover, they could transfer their culture and lifestyle facets to other countries by using art and music. Thus, these places could help to boom the talent of young people and improve the culture of any societies. A vivid example can be given to shed light on what was elaborated above. The result of a study carried out by Rice University graduate students unveiled the fact that the Italian rank in the life aspect standards and tranquility is improved from 100th to 20th by spending a lot of money for reviving the music and art in this old country.
In addition to the reason raised above, the implication of conserving art and music remanents as a valuable legacy for the future’s generation could also substantiate the justifiability of the claim made at the outset of this essay. In conjunction with public belief, children would be familiar with their parents’ effort in the improvement of the societies by considering the places for art and music. It is our duty to preserve these relics in a safe place and transfer them to next generation. For instance, my grandpa was played a special Persian music instrument as a professional player and he teaches it to my father. Now my father is a successful music player and singer. This example shows the importance of the saving music and art legacies for the future.
Drawing upon the reasons, discreetly put, as far as my personal perspective on the topic is concerned, I reiterate that building new music and art museums and centers could improve the cultural and social aspects of a society in the current time and in the future.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 214, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...es. This money should be the expense in a optimize manner which all people in the...
^
Line 1, column 214, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...es. This money should be the expense in a optimize manner which all people in the society ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, moreover, regarding, so, thus, as to, for instance, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 43.0788530466 74% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 52.1666666667 151% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 8.0752688172 235% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2438.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 492.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95528455285 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70967865282 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84505222496 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522357723577 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 774.0 618.680645161 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 88.5052341423 48.9658058833 181% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.411764706 100.406767564 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.9411764706 20.6045352989 140% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.82352941176 5.45110844103 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190135121108 0.236089414692 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0596425834702 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0486362332291 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119971006814 0.150856017488 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0149906716853 0.0645574589148 23% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 58.1214874552 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.08 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.55 8.01818996416 119% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 86.8835125448 162% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.