If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

My town Anaheim in California is so beautiful, it has a lot of restaurants, school, colleges in addition to that it is the area which attracts tourists because it has disney land a such great place and others places that are perfect to a lot of people. But if i want to change thing in it i will add more crossing areas that lead the people cross from one road to another safely. And the following discussion reveals my view:

First of all , when i want to bring my son from the school i should walk to the last of the road to reach the crossing are , even if the school is located in front of the crossing area, this is westing of time so if we add one in the middle of the road it will be better for me and i will reach faster to the school.

Second, a lot of people don't wait to reach this area , this will lead them to cross from wrong area which is not allowed furthermore is dangerous for them and they will take a ticket and black points.

Third, if there are a lot of crossing area in the same street, this will lead to reduce the crowding of people so this will add safety and comfort for all, moreover this will lead a lot of people prefer walking and reduce the traffic crowding of the cars.

In conclusion, my town is so beautiful, and it's the perfect area for moe people that coming from different spot of the world. But in my opinion if they are adding more crossing area it will become much beautiful furthermore there will be more safety , comfort for the people.

Votes
Average: 6.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

because it has disney land a such great place
because it has disney land, a such great place,

and others places that are perfect
and other places that are perfect

to reach the crossing are
to reach the crossing area

if there are a lot of crossing area
if there are a lot of crossing areas

for moe people that coming from different spot of the world.
for more people who are coming from different spots of the world.

if they are adding more crossing area
if they are adding more crossing areas

Sentence: First of all , when i want to bring my son from the school i should walk to the last of the road to reach the crossing are , even if the school is located in front of the crossing area, this is westing of time so if we add one in the middle of the road it will be better for me and i will reach faster to the school.
Error: westing Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: In conclusion, my town is so beautiful, and it's the perfect area for moe people that coming from different spot of the world.
Error: moe Suggestion: more

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Different Words: 122 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 16 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 286 350
No. of Characters: 1166 1500
No. of Different Words: 122 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.112 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.077 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.127 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 70 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 38 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 12 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.019 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.447 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.766 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5