It has recently been announced that a new high school may be built in your community. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details in your answer.

The community we live in is a very important part of our lives. It is where we spend most of our time and many years of our lives. If new high school is built in my community, some residents I’m sure would believe that it is a great idea; others would disagree. In my view, high school in my community would be a great addition for two important reasons.

The main important reason is that the community children’s will have more time to play and enjoy. If high school will be built in my community, the children’s will not have to travel to the school and thus it will save their time. So they will have more free time to play around. For example, when I was in High School back a year in New York, I used to study in New York community High School which was 10 miles away from my house. I used to travel on subways and it would take around one hour back and forth. Due to this, I had to get up early in the morning. Also, I used to get tired in the evening and couldn’t play much on the weekdays. If I had my High School in the community, I would not have to travel every morning and that time I could use as my play time. As you can see building of High school in my community will give community children’s more time to play.

Another reason is that the community will develop faster. As High School will be built in the community there will be more income and there will be profit from the school, which can be invested in the development of the community. For instance, when I visited my parents last year during my summer break, I could see lots of improvement in my community after building the high school. Earlier when there was no High School in my community the road were bumpy and the park was also dirty, dry and not maintained at all. Now, after building High School the roads were smooth, the park was well maintained with new flowers and in addition there was also a new fountain build in the park. This new development in the community was due to newly build High School. After looking at this, I learned that building of the High School was very beneficial to the community.

In sum, though some may oppose the plan, but building of High School would be a great addition to the community. Not only addition of High School will make life easier and increase play time for children’s, but also it will help in the development of the community. Every community should try to build a High School in their community.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

If new high school is built in my community,
If a new high school is built in my community,

that the community children’s will have more time to play and enjoy.
that the children in the community will have more time to play and enjoy.

the children’s will not have to travel
the children will not have to travel

will give community children’s more time to play.
will give community children more time to play.

though some may oppose the plan, but building of High School would be a great addition
Description: don't put 'though' 'but' in one sentence.

Not only addition of High School will make life easier and increase play time for children’s, but also it will help in...
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2

No. of Words: 461 while No. of Different Words: 175

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 461 350
No. of Characters: 1926 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.634 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.178 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.207 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.043 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.08 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.522 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.399 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.207 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5