In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age.
Over the past several decades, our society has witnessed and experienced radical changes in each and every aspect of our lives. Nevertheless, the controversy of whether children should learn to manage their own money at a young age in order to become financially responsible adults still remains debated. Personally, I believe that getting previous experience on how to manage one's money, plays a prominent role when it comes to preparing children to become financially responsible individuals in the future. I feel this way mainly because of two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
In the first place, it is an undeniable fact that the only way how people can become proficient in something is by investing enormous effort and time in that activity. Thus, if parents desire to educate their children to become financially responsible in the future, they need to give their children the opportunity to apply skills and techniques to real-life situations from a young age. My own experience is a compelling example of this. The day that I turned eight years old, my parents decided to award me money whenever I did a household chore. As a result, I was provided with a small income from a young age and acquired numerous abilities and knowledge on how to efficiently manage my money. Now that I am an adult, I am able to manage my money responsibly on account of the previous training I had. In other words, if children equip themselves with the skills to manage their money at a young age, it is very likely that they will become very efficient and responsible adults.
In the second place, from my point of view, children who experience the consequences of not managing money well at a young age are susceptible of becoming more financially responsible than those inexperienced children. To be more precise, if a child undergoes negative experiences, he or she will recall them in the future and avoid making the same financial mistake. Adults who have not learned to manage their own money at a young age, on the other hand, do not have any financial experience and tend to explore every risk. To illustrate this point, I will give my college as an example. I met my college Tom two years ago when I started to work in a company located in South Korea. He usually spends his income unwisely and most of the time, lacks the money to pay his bills (even though he receives a high salary). Later, I learned that he had never learned how to manage his money properly and thus, is always struggling financially in life.
To conclude, acquiring experiences and applying skills in life is the best way to teach children how to become financially responsible. Therefore, based on the arguments mentioned above, I definitely agree with the statement that in order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 378, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ng previous experience on how to manage ones money, plays a prominent role when it c...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, nevertheless, second, so, still, therefore, thus, well, i feel, as a result, in other words, in the first place, in the second place, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 52.1666666667 134% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2395.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 494.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84817813765 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71445763274 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79591885111 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495951417004 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 783.9 618.680645161 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.8448273066 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.75 100.406767564 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7 20.6045352989 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.1 5.45110844103 149% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.60477601855 0.236089414692 256% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.18172105002 0.076458572812 238% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.203706051602 0.0737576698707 276% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.435413405524 0.150856017488 289% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0691704709212 0.0645574589148 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 11.7677419355 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.15 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 86.8835125448 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.