Sample TOEFL essay: do you agree or disagree with the following statement? people should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

People have different interests in their lives. Not all the people can spend their lives; according to what they are most enthusiastic about. Life just goes forward and we have to cope with that.
I agree with the statement; people should sometimes do things, that they don't enjoy doing for some specific reasons.
First, it is our responsibility and it is better to do it. Forexample, Not all the children want to go to dentist; They go for regular check-ups, not because they like it, but that is beacuse they have to it. In addition, not all the people want to get up early in the morning; They do it because they have to go to work to earn money. That is part of our lives.
Second, in some cases money can be saved. For instance, some people just have to fix their car on their own, instead of having it fixed by a mechanic. Because they may be able to handle it themselves by getting information through some books; so they don't need to pay money for that. Although they spend sometime on fixing their car, They save their money too. So for this case they have to do it because of their situation.
Third, sometimes people are in crucial situation. Forexample, no one likes to get help from a nany-who is a stranger- to bring up her children due to different cultures, characters; and beliefs, but whenever you are busy; you work outside; and don't have anybody of your family around you to look after your children, it is better to get help from a nanny and pay her wages.
In conclusion, we should do what is better for us in that specific moment. Sometimes we need to do what we dislike. In some cases we have to do things that we don't have passion for that. We do it because it is worth it. I remember the time, I didn't like to go to dentist and show my teeth to Doctor For some reasons that every girls or boys may had it while they were a merely child, but now I am thankful to my parents because they used to take me to dentist for regular check ups. So I think sometimes it is worth it to do what we don't enjoy in life.

Votes
Average: 3.3 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 688, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ve to do it because of their situation. Also no one likes to get help from a nany-wh...
^^^^
Line 3, column 874, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ver you are busy; you work outside; and dont have anybody of your family around you ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 107, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...moment. Sometimes we need to do what we dont like. In some cases we have to do thing...
^^^^
Line 4, column 161, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...some cases we have to do things that we dont have passion for that. We do it because...
^^^^
Line 4, column 245, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... it is worth it. I remember the time, I didnt like to go to dentist and show my teeth...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 370, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('merely') instead an adjective, or a noun ('child') instead of another adjective.
...irls or boys may had it while they were a merely child, but now I am thankful to my parents be...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 490, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'sometimes' is usually put before the verb 'think'.
Suggestion: sometimes think
... to dentist for regular check ups. So I think sometimes it is worth it to do what we dont enjoy...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 535, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... sometimes it is worth it to do what we dont enjoy in life.
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, may, so, thus, while, for example, i think, in addition, in conclusion, in some cases

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 70.0 43.0788530466 162% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1516.0 1977.66487455 77% => OK
No of words: 363.0 407.700716846 89% => OK
Chars per words: 4.17630853994 4.8611393121 86% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3649236973 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.19988278073 2.67179642975 82% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.471074380165 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 477.9 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.4934540168 48.9658058833 152% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.2222222222 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1666666667 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.88888888889 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.268078538691 0.236089414692 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107175460802 0.076458572812 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113076136894 0.0737576698707 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.231244999153 0.150856017488 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.175457726068 0.0645574589148 272% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.3 11.7677419355 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 76.56 58.1214874552 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 6.96 10.9000537634 64% => Coleman_liau_index is low.
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.72 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 48.0 86.8835125448 55% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => The average readability is low. Need to improve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.