TPO-09 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Every single day, technology keep on improving higher and higher and supports the younger generation vastly. Children becomes more creative and enthusiastic by the use of modern technology. In my opinion, technology does a important role to children be more creative and gives the knowledge that each child wants. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To begin with new inventions made by children can be a good demonstration of the help given to them through technology. Nowadays, children learns really fast and comes up with different ideas and solution to different problems. Using the computer or mobile phones, children can find different applications and software through the internet, according to each child's interest. My own experience is a good example to demonstrate this. When I was 10 years, I had a dream of being a music composer. Then, I started playing guitar as the first stage to music. With the use of the internet, I downloaded a software called " FL Studio", which is a music composing software. Then, I slowly started to compose my own music scripts and made good songs. So, that is how technology helped my create my own ideas and also to build my career.

Secondly, gaining knowledge from technology is an important factor for children to become creative. In children's education, technology gives a good hand to gain knowledge. The most important thing for children to become creative is to build up their knowledge. For example, if a student in a school should do an history research, by surfing the internet the student can find any kind of information for the research. When surfing the internet, other than finding correct information, students can widen their knowledge by memorizing the information.

To sum it up, it is very important for children to use the modern technology, to develop their creativity and knowledge. This is because it helps children to learn fast to do creative things, invent new things and to develop their knowledge.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 222, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...hnology. In my opinion, technology does a important role to children be more crea...
^
Line 5, column 310, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ple, if a student in a school should do an history research, by surfing the intern...
^^
Line 7, column 165, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to fast'
Suggestion: to fast
...s is because it helps children to learn fast to do creative things, invent new thing...
^^^^
Line 7, column 243, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... things and to develop their knowledge.
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, really, second, secondly, so, then, thus, for example, i feel, kind of, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 43.0788530466 60% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1703.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 337.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05341246291 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86381972678 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 212.727598566 84% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528189910979 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 513.9 618.680645161 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.994623655914 201% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => OK
Sentence length SD: 28.4576878892 48.9658058833 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.15 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.85 20.6045352989 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156128855631 0.236089414692 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0502626115327 0.076458572812 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0296432540323 0.0737576698707 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0999457026894 0.150856017488 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0194182345465 0.0645574589148 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.71 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.