TPO-17 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make products seem much better then they really are.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Products are important parts of our lives. There are varieties of products that people can buy, it is necessary to inform people about new products. Some people agree with the idea that most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are; others disagree. I completely agree for two important reasons.
The first reason is that there are economy problems. Problems such as unemployment, famines result in people buy things that they are really need. In fact, demand for buying products decreases. For example, my father's friends, who has a computer company, which whose works is selling personal computers and Laptops, recently bankrupted. According to him, instead of buying new computers, people prefer to use their old computer that they had; as a result, sell rate was decreased by less than five computers a month. It; consequently, result in extreme competition for selling their products. In fact, companies try to advertise their products to sell them somehow, they can. As you can see, considerable decreasing in demands might result in an immoral advertisement.

Another reason is that companies try to make more money. Although it is not ideal, almost all companies try to sell their products to be able to afford pay their workers and employees. For example, two years ago, I worked in a company that they produced TV set. I was a junior manager in testing section where I test T.V. sets. Sometimes I saw our advertisements on T.V. It was unfortunately upsetting, when I realized that the company advertised the products in a way that they really were not. I talked to my boss about the advertisement. He said they had had to do it because of some problems. It was not moral and I resigned.
To sum up, although it does not ideal, most advertisement make products seem much better than they really are not, not only because of economy problems but also because of making more money. Government should implement a new program to control these immoral advertisements.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 141, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'needed'.
Suggestion: needed
... people buy things that they are really need. In fact, demand for buying products de...
^^^^
Line 4, column 153, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to pay'
Suggestion: to pay
...ell their products to be able to afford pay their workers and employees. For exampl...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, really, so, for example, in fact, such as, as a result, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1671.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 334.0 407.700716846 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.00299401198 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27500489853 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82034815717 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 212.727598566 86% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544910179641 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 510.3 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.994623655914 201% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.8251482799 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.9545454545 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.1818181818 20.6045352989 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.40909090909 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207045401035 0.236089414692 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.057790519453 0.076458572812 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0808531047799 0.0737576698707 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146420108887 0.150856017488 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0623667068691 0.0645574589148 97% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 58.1214874552 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.1575268817 79% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.