Tpo 18 - question 2
Teachers and friends play an important role in student's life. Some think that friends are more important than teachers are; on the other hand, many believes teacher influence their students more. If you ask me I would say friends are very influential and those changes, those effects that they have on students can't be compared to teacher's impact. I have reasons for that, let's read them together.
First, you spend more time with your friends than anyone else. When you hang out with your friends, and play game with them, and you talk to them; really you don't get used to anyone else more than you get used to your friends. They have such an impact on you that you feel they're an another version of you. For example, I have a friend called John. We have been friends for seven years, and in this seven years, whenever I feel sad and lonely I meet him or send messages, and ask him to talk to me. Sometimes we speak like 2 hours without being tired. One time, he had to turn his cell phone off, because his family made him to do that. In that time, I felt so lonely as I was going to jump out of the window, and kill myself. So the amount of time, the emotions that you share with your friends are very memorable that you can not ignore them easily.
Second, you may hate many of your teachers. Teachers teach you how to study, and how to build up skills you need in order to live in future, so they are really kind to students, but students can not understand this fact, and resist against of their teacher's advices. For instance, one time our chemistry teacher gave us a speech about how studying exams affects our scores, how it secures our future. Really no one listened to him except me. After the class was finished everyone made fun of him, and made me to forget his useful and faithful talks. After a few days, exams started, and no one was prepared for the exams. Some of the students started crying and begging from teachers to not to gave them the lowest score. If they get low score they family would kill them. So as we see, many times teachers give useful advices to students, but they really don't listen to them until one day they are really desperate. After that they find their teachers words useful, but it's too late to notice their advices.
Basically, that is why students and young teenagers are not influenced by teachers, and they hear words from their friends, because friends are just like you and you spend more time with them. In addition to that, many teenagers hate school, therefore they hate teachers too. In my view , not only students but also grown ups should listen to people's advices, and choose the best of them to get the whole benefit of their experiences.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
teacher influence their students more
teachers influence their students more
Sentence: They have such an impact on you that you feel they're an another version of you.
Description: An article is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, singular
Suggestion: Refer to an and another
Sentence: Some of the students started crying and begging from teachers to not to gave them the lowest score.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a negator
Suggestion: Refer to to and not
Sentence: If they get low score they family would kill them.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and family
flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence. Look:
First,
you spend more time with your friends than anyone else. When
you hang out with
your friends, and play game with them, and
you talk to them; really
you don't get used to anyone else more than
you get used to your friends. They have such an impact on you that
you feel
they're an another version of you.
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You can find all independent topics here:
http://www.testbig.com/users/ipass
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 498 350
No. of Characters: 2144 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.724 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.305 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.008 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.155 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.654 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.438 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.258 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
"More sentences varieties
"More sentences varieties wanted."
how?
You may check out this link
You may check out this link:
http://www.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/sentences.htm
or this link:
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/573/01/
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Let's revise this sentence:
First, you spend more time with your friends than anyone else. When you hang out with your friends, and play game with them, and you talk to them;
revised:
Spending more time with friends than anyone else is one of the reasons that friends give us big impacts during hanging out together, playing game together, talking, and chatting....
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Teachers and friends play an important r...
^^^
Line 1, column 315, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...hose effects that they have on students cant be compared to teachers impact. I have ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s for that, lets read them together. First, you spend more time with your fri...
^^^
Line 3, column 162, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... them, and you talk to them; really you dont get used to anyone else more than you g...
^^^^
Line 3, column 277, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they're
...ave such an impact on you that you feel theyre an another version of you. For example,...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 284, Rule ID: AN_ANOTHER[1]
Message: One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: 'a version' or 'another version'.
Suggestion: a version; another version
...h an impact on you that you feel theyre an another version of you. For example, I have a friend ca...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that you can not ignore them easily. Second, you may hate many of your teache...
^^
Line 5, column 133, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ild up skills you need in order to live in future, so they are really kind to students, b...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 625, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: Some
... and no one was prepared for the exams. Some of the students started crying and begging fro...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 725, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s to not to gave them the lowest score. If they get low score they family would ki...
^^
Line 5, column 859, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ul advices to students, but they really dont listen to them until one day they are r...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ts too late to notice their advices. Basically, that is why students and youn...
^^^
Line 7, column 290, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...efore they hate teachers too. In my view , not only students but also grown ups sh...
^^
Line 7, column 347, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'people'.
Suggestion: people
...nts but also grown ups should listen to peoples advices, and choose the best of them to...
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'may', 'really', 'second', 'so', 'therefore', 'for example', 'for instance', 'i feel', 'in addition', 'in my view', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.191756272401 0.229887763892 83% => OK
Verbs: 0.163082437276 0.158761421928 103% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0573476702509 0.0866891130778 66% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0519713261649 0.046263068375 112% => OK
Pronouns: 0.137992831541 0.0685040099705 201% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.109318996416 0.118717715034 92% => OK
Participles: 0.0232974910394 0.0351676179071 66% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.08569888246 2.67179642975 78% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0412186379928 0.0309702414327 133% => OK
Particles: 0.00358422939068 0.00188951952338 190% => OK
Determiners: 0.0519713261649 0.0887237588012 59% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.010752688172 0.0209618222197 51% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0143369175627 0.0139019557991 103% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2713.0 2387.08602151 114% => OK
No of words: 496.0 408.028673835 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.46975806452 5.86048508987 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.48200974243 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.264112903226 0.338922669872 78% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.185483870968 0.251872472559 74% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.116935483871 0.174417080927 67% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0443548387097 0.112833075102 39% => More words length more than 8 chars wanted.
Word Length SD: 2.08569888246 2.67179642975 78% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497983870968 0.524397521467 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 58.3010632509 59.2087087015 98% => OK
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6684587814 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0769230769 20.5533526081 93% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.1000216922 48.84282405 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.346153846 120.699889404 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0769230769 20.5533526081 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.576923076923 0.644075263715 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.5376344086 88% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.54480286738 252% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 37.6253101737 45.7405998639 82% => OK
Elegance: 0.918781725888 1.45489161554 63% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.300154397459 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.13368553321 0.103427244359 129% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0932092037533 0.0752933317313 124% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.409056858684 0.497263757937 82% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.16075119072 0.151897553556 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.114077575197 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0781384742642 0% => The sentences are too close to each other.
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.373431884748 0.336927656856 111% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0620800855628 0.067059652881 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.210909579961 0% => The content is off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0618886996521 0% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8870967742 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.86379928315 233% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.91756272401 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 14.0 8.42114695341 166% => OK
Negative topic words: 8.0 2.4623655914 325% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.75985663082 36% => OK
Total topic words: 23.0 13.6433691756 169% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.