TPO 18. Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Agree/ disagree?

Essay topics:

TPO 18. Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Agree/ disagree?

Students, the most promising individuals in any society, are always making efforts to constitute their own personalities. In this way their ideology and their character are built through their interactions with the surrounding people, like their friends and their teachers as well. The relevant question stemming from this fact is, whether students’ teachers or their friends exert more influence on them. To the extent that my personal perspective is concerned, the effectiveness of the latter take precedence to that of the former.

One of the compelling arguments that lends credence to the theory is that students' strong instincts in the adolescent period exhort them to be more influenced by their friends. To put in general words, only when students accept the authenticity of an idea or a plan, do their friends verify its truth. Delving further into the issue reveals that, since teenagers are launching their self-esteem and self-confidence, they need to be accepted in a greater community rather than in their close family or by their teachers. Therefore, the clique of their fellows who have many things in common with is the first in the list of different communities. It goes without saying that students openly take the comments and receive sympathetic advice of their friends, who have the same long, to fulfill themselves. However, they are not likely to accept the same piece of advice offered by their parents or teachers.

Another reason that is equally important, if not more, is that human beings, especially students, are influenced by people who spending time with more than other people. To shed some light on the issue, students are associating with their friends when they are at school. Then, after doing their assignment they will go out with their friends until even midnight. It means that they are playing indispensable role in the bittersweet periods of one another's lives. Psychologically speaking, all this scenario leads to ever-increasing loyalty and trust between friends and subsequently they will have great influence over one another. It should be pointed out that the significant influence of teachers on their students is second only to that of their friends. As an example, a successful teacher can trigger a sense of accomplishment in his students by motiving them to study indigently and intensify their scope of knowledge to be successful as him.

Having thoroughly analyzed the issue, I reiterate that the efficacy of friends is by far more than students' teachers. Because not only their instinct encourages them to be influenced by peer groups but also spending virtually all their time with friends make them influential characters in the lives of one another.

Votes
Average: 8.7 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

the effectiveness of the latter take precedence to that of the former.
the effectiveness of the latter takes precedence to that of the former.

by people who spending time with more than other people.
by people who are spending time with more than other people.
by people who spend time with more than other people.

not only their instinct encourages them to be influenced by peer groups but also spending virtually all their time with friends make them influential characters in the lives of one another.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: As an example, a successful teacher can trigger a sense of accomplishment in his students by motiving them to study indigently and intensify their scope of knowledge to be successful as him.
Error: motiving Suggestion: moving???

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 437 350
No. of Characters: 2229 1500
No. of Different Words: 228 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.572 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.101 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.792 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.525 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.421 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.48 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

First, thank you for the fast editing of my essay and also I appreciate the information provided to help me with my essay skills.

Since you asked for rephrasing the below sentence:

not only their instinct encourages them to be influenced by peer groups but also spending virtually all their time with friends make them influential characters in the lives of one another.

Let me put it this way:

not only their instinct but also the great amount of time which students spend with one another make them influential character in the lives of one another.

Now is it correct?

And, another question: Is this essay coherent?