TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples

Parents can help their child to build their future life with giving the valuable advice in each stage of their life. Some parents think to encourage their teenage child to do a part- time job can provide credible experience. In other hands, other believe it makes their child exhausted and they could not enjoy their life. In my opinion, I support this statements that parents should allow their child to work as a part-time job because they learn how to earn money and gain a wide variety of experience with dealing with the difficult situation.

First, parents should always motivate their teenager to work which can learn how to survive in the society and earn money for their life. Many teenagers choose to be a tutor in the primary school and teach children basic science. Being a teacher is challenging for the teenager because they should deal with children. Therefore, they learn how to treat people with different personality. On the other hand, they understand the value of the money and they will spend it in the appropriate way.

Second, working gives them the valuable information which they can get it from experience and knowledge. To give an example, when they begin to teach other student and explain required subject each session. They should prepare for the lesson before teaching. In addition, some of the subject such as the mathematic demand to create questions and take the quiz. During the preparation for tutoring, he will find his weaknesses and attempt to find it from books. Hence, teaching as a part-time develops skill for the teenager and it may help them to their future career.

In conclusion, parents have the ability to inspire their children to work. I completely agree due to the advantage of being social and gain various experiences.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 349, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...oy their life. In my opinion, I support this statements that parents should allow th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 273, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...he lesson before teaching. In addition, some of the subject such as the mathematic demand t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 481, Rule ID: DT_JJ_NO_NOUN[2]
Message: Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
... find it from books. Hence, teaching as a part-time develops skill for the teenager and it ...
^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, if, may, second, so, therefore, in addition, in conclusion, such as, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 15.1003584229 26% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1482.0 1977.66487455 75% => OK
No of words: 300.0 407.700716846 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16179145029 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46508958593 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 212.727598566 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.536666666667 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 441.0 618.680645161 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.3501515979 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.1764705882 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6470588235 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.76470588235 5.45110844103 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.280630417668 0.236089414692 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0919152010093 0.076458572812 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0710939332723 0.0737576698707 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160942732792 0.150856017488 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0624315747922 0.0645574589148 97% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.