TPO-24 - Independent Writing Task
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Should parents encourage their adolescents to take a part-time job in order to help them to prepare for adulthood? Although some people may give a negative answer on the question, I strongly buttress the stance. The reasons on which my prospect is based will be discussed in details below.
Firstly, taking a part-time job is an indispensable opportunity to give the offspring taste of freedom and responsibility. Indeed working for a company differs from children’s past experience; they will learn that there are rules, reward and punishment for violating or keeping to them. Although facing the reality may be a serious shock for them, they will enormously benefit from this kind of experience. Additionally to it, we need to state that teenagers will earn their first money. Acquiring their first bills and coins may be a transforming experience inasmuch as teenagers will be the first time in their entire life independent from their relatives even for a short period of time.
Secondly, working part-time will motivate teenagers to study harder. My stance is based on the observation that usually the first job is a blue collar work position. Youngsters will do some insignificant activities such as delivering newspapers or washing cars. An adolescent who gets this kind or life experience will inevitably learn that if he does not study hard, his future occupation will be similar to his today's job. Furthermore, the boy will see that an education and expertise have a direct impact on employees’ salaries as well.
Admittedly, there are some reasons which may allow a person to say that encouraging a youngster to take a part time job is a bad idea. Chiefly, the person may aver that a working teenager will be unavoidably robbed from his childhood because the one will participate to the working class and will be limited in his actions to have fun with friends and classmates. However, I still strongly affirm my viewpoint because adolescence is a period of transformation when a yesterday's child who played video games turns into a young reasonable and responsible adult. This is a crucial period of time which should be used by teenagers; otherwise, we may miss this nonage period and face a problem with a grown-up who lives in parents' basement and does not have a regular job.
To wrap up, parents ought to encourage their progeny to take a part-time job inasmuch as teenagers will greatly benefit from this kind of experience; they will taste freedom, independence and learn that in order to be successful they have to pursue college and university education.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 27 in 30
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 429 350
No. of Characters: 2109 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.551 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.916 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.816 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.139 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 124, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Indeed,
...ng taste of freedom and responsibility. Indeed working for a company differs from chil...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 182, Rule ID: PAST_EXPERIENCE_MEMORY[1]
Message: Use simply 'experience'.
Suggestion: experience
... a company differs from children's past experience; they will learn that there are rules, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 413, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...y benefit from this kind of experience. Additionally to it, we need to state that teenagers ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 681, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...t from their relatives even for a short period of time. Secondly, working part-time will mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 107, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... that encouraging a youngster to take a part time job is a bad idea. Chiefly, the person ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 468, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'yesterdays'' or 'yesterday's'?
Suggestion: yesterdays'; yesterday's
...ce is a period of transformation when a yesterdays child who played video games turns into...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 579, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...nd responsible adult. This is a crucial period of time which should be used by teenagers; othe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, well, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 9.8082437276 255% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.0752688172 198% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2171.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 429.0 407.700716846 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06060606061 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55107846309 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93751985198 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517482517483 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 677.7 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.21151301 48.9658058833 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.611111111 100.406767564 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8333333333 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.72222222222 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.205704946347 0.236089414692 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0764189851428 0.076458572812 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0777653243613 0.0737576698707 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138398237412 0.150856017488 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.050760044691 0.0645574589148 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.