TPO-27 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.Use specific reasons and ex

I definitely think that people should wait for a satisfactory job. Some person can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each element. The explanations go as follows.

First of all, a gratifying job promotes folk efficacy or creativity. Different motivation resources are required to whet people appetite to fulfill their tasks correctly. These motivations including a money award, a free vacation, or even a pleasure job can conjure up somebody's feeling to reach to a high performance. Besides, according to a research, which recently has been carried out in society department of Harvard University, having a pleased career is the most incentive factor for someone to be genius. In other words, a pleasure job stimulates people to see all hidden aspect of a subject or task, and as a consequence either suggest a productive idea or invent a new marvelous stuff.

Furthermore, avoiding from psychological and physical problems are another noticeable supports. These days, humankind encounter with a huge progress and advancement in different field of technology and science. Although these technical and theoretical achievements offer mankind lots of benefits, they also bring us anxiety and depression. Somebody, for instance, has to start working early in the morning and continue it late at night. Being satisfying with your job is a key factor that can help people to tolerate jobs’ difficulties, and so contribute to relieve the stress or keep away the pressure.

Admittedly, there are some justifications by one who argues that adults should choose a secure job and don’t wait for a likable job. Mainly, nowadays, it is very difficult for people in several field of study such as art, history, or sport to land a gratify job due to world economical criticism. However, still I affirm that individuals should stay for a pleasure job. For instance, there are some efforts by Governments and scholars to figure out mentioned problem or several voluntary activities conducted by private research institutes are aimed to aid people who look for a desirable job.

Due to aforementioned ground, I think all people should bear in mind that it is better to wait for a pleased job. Participating of more performance and preventing from illness are two prime and conspicuous reasons.

Votes
Average: 6.3 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 438, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... morning and continue it late at night. Being satisfying with your job is a key factor that can ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 610, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e the stress or keep away the pressure. Admittedly, there are some justification...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 192, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun field seems to be countable; consider using: 'several fields'.
Suggestion: several fields
...ays, it is very difficult for people in several field of study such as art, history, or sport...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 254, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... such as art, history, or sport to land a gratify job due to world economical criticism. ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 600, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...id people who look for a desirable job. Due to aforementioned ground, I think al...
^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'besides', 'but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'however', 'if', 'look', 'so', 'still', 'as to', 'for instance', 'i think', 'such as', 'first of all', 'in other words']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.258992805755 0.229887763892 113% => OK
Verbs: 0.158273381295 0.158761421928 100% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0887290167866 0.0866891130778 102% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0431654676259 0.046263068375 93% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0239808153477 0.0685040099705 35% => OK
Prepositions: 0.0959232613909 0.118717715034 81% => OK
Participles: 0.0383693045564 0.0351676179071 109% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.05174802882 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0383693045564 0.0309702414327 124% => OK
Particles: 0.00959232613909 0.00188951952338 508% => OK
Determiners: 0.0887290167866 0.0887237588012 100% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0167865707434 0.0209618222197 80% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00959232613909 0.0139019557991 69% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2304.0 2387.08602151 97% => OK
No of words: 369.0 408.028673835 90% => OK
Chars per words: 6.24390243902 5.86048508987 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.48200974243 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.406504065041 0.338922669872 120% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.319783197832 0.251872472559 127% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.243902439024 0.174417080927 140% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.178861788618 0.112833075102 159% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05174802882 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.617886178862 0.524397521467 118% => OK
Word variations: 75.4839587106 59.2087087015 127% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6684587814 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.4210526316 20.5533526081 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.1125114524 48.84282405 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.263157895 120.699889404 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4210526316 20.5533526081 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.842105263158 0.644075263715 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.54480286738 90% => OK
Readability: 51.3993724148 45.7405998639 112% => OK
Elegance: 1.74468085106 1.45489161554 120% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.32014266556 0.300154397459 107% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.051586595862 0.103427244359 50% => Sentence sentence coherence is low.
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0396101568254 0.0752933317313 53% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.490161411884 0.497263757937 99% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.0975481477564 0.151897553556 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110270449166 0.114077575197 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0576883735092 0.0781384742642 74% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.227344725325 0.336927656856 67% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0709003650882 0.067059652881 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.201537127322 0.210909579961 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0169614624326 0.0618886996521 27% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8870967742 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.86379928315 155% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.91756272401 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 8.42114695341 95% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 2.4623655914 162% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.75985663082 72% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 13.6433691756 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Some person can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each element.
A person can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each element.
Some persons can consciously weigh the pros and cons of each element.

Sentence: Different motivation resources are required to whet people appetite to fulfill their tasks correctly.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and appetite

avoiding from psychological and physical problems are another noticeable supports.
avoiding from psychological and physical problems is another noticeable support.

in different field
in different fields

due to world economical criticism.
due to the world economical criticism.

to figure out mentioned problem
to figure out mentioned problems

there are some efforts by Governments and scholars to figure out mentioned problem or several voluntary activities conducted by private research institutes are aimed to aid people who look for a desirable job.
Description: what is the subject for 'are aimed'? can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

There are issues for the fourth paragraph. It is a little bit off the topic:

'However, still I affirm that individuals should stay for a pleasure job. For instance, there are some efforts by Governments and scholars to figure out mentioned problem or several voluntary activities conducted by private research institutes are aimed to aid people who look for a desirable job.'

You understand the 'pattern' wrongly. The fourth paragraph is the reason 3. Need to find a reason like reason 1 and reason 2. for this topic, we can put the reason like this:
Third, a satisfying job will save time or money. ...

However, since we want to make something changes on the writing styles different to reason 1 and reason 2, we use the pattern: 'Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B...'
So the fourth paragraph should be something like this:
'Some people may argue that If we don't take a secure job right away, it will waste time or money. However, ....'

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 370 350
No. of Characters: 1866 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.386 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.043 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.959 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.474 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.605 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.282 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.518 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.031 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5