TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Throughout history, in all civilized societies, the proliferation of students grades at schools is one of the momentous concern of parents about their children. Whether stimulating kids by money is an appropriate decision or not, is the debate, and has engendered copious controversies among parents. It goes without mentioning that different people with discrepancies in their insights, interests, levels of education and educational background might hold miscellaneous perspectives in this regard. In spite of the fact that a concrete argument can be made to oppose the notion, I, on the contrary, concur with the idea of offering money as a bonus to children. To substantiate my case, the following paragraphs represents conspicuous reasons to elaborate my preference.

First of all, one should take into account the significance of motivation in children's life. As a matter of fact, they can not entirely perceive the importance of education at early ages. So, they need something as a bonus to perpetuate education. Although, some people may claim that this offer would be harmful for the child, I believe that this bonus can be halted at a higher educational level, but in school time, children are not mature enough to interpret the virtue of studying.

Another equally noteworthy reason is that they will experience the hardship required for attaining money. Nowadays children are inclined toward sluggishness to some extent which is alarming. Parents provide whatever they ask. In fact, children do not appreciate their parents' attempts and just take it for granted. While, the importance of difficulties should be underlined from childhood. By offering a bonus like money, children perceive in today's tough life the value of not only money but also education since they need to study hard in order to gain the money. They can plan to buy their favorite stuff with that money. Moreover, that stuff will be considered a valuable one in comparison to the ones their parents has bought for them, for they strive for them. The more they try, the more they acquire. An intelligible statics revealed by a recently conducted survey in our country demonstrated that about 90 percent of students take care of the stuff they have bought them from the money they have acquired. Actually, they can foster the meaning of possession from childhood. So, as a corollary of this, children can be motivated to study hard in order to acquire a noteworthy stuff.

In the end, with all being mentioned above, I am left to draw one single conclusion. From my vantage points, the upshot of offering rewards like money to children can put forward some notable influence in their near future life.

Votes
Average: 8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 322, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... attempts and just take it for granted. While, the importance of difficulties should ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, may, moreover, so, while, in fact, as a matter of fact, first of all, in spite of, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 52.1666666667 140% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2269.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 442.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1334841629 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58517132086 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82218848685 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542986425339 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 704.7 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.7386731372 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.652173913 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2173913043 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.65217391304 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.232703630481 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0666876205762 0.076458572812 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0436180539686 0.0737576698707 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1361096924 0.150856017488 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0427399294755 0.0645574589148 66% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 116.0 86.8835125448 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 10.002688172 150% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK

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Rates: 80 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.