TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It goes without saying that money is a good motivation for most of people and school age children is not an exception. Especially, when parents encourage their kids by money, children have inspiration to study more and hardier. I strongly believe that offer school age kids money for each high grade they get in school is a perfect idea. The reasons that support my opinion as follow.

First of all, this money is a motivation. Nowadays most of kids need stimulation for successful studying; that is why parent try to use different ways to motivate children. According to the experts the best motivation for kids is money because adults know that with money they can allow a lot of interesting things such as gadgets, cell phones, computers and laptops. Moreover, this kind of inspiration could aid adults to improve their score at school. Most of kids do mot understand value of their studying, but they already find out importance of money. I think that parents should give money to their kids for high marks at school.

Secondly, giving money to children help them to be more responsible. Kids start to able to count money, spend and safe. Hence, in the future that kind of experience will help them to manage their income. For instance, my parent gave me 1 dollar for each good mark at school that let me to have a unique experience and then bought my first phone. I realized that hard work could help me to achieve my goals. Furthermore, I did not want to lose my income from good marks; that is why I felt my responsibility for each grade that I got. It is essential reason that support my opinion that parent offer money to their children for high marks at school.

Last but not least, children should feel stressed and pressured because they fear from any money loss. It organize them to study every day and prepare for the lessons.

In conclusion, offering money to adults could be a beneficial for both parent and adults. It can improve children motivation, grades and responsibility. Beside, kids will obtain new skills and ability to use money.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 60, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...ing that money is a good motivation for most of people and school age children is not an excep...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 375, Rule ID: AS_FOLLOW[1]
Message: Did you mean 'as follows'?
Suggestion: as follows
...ea. The reasons that support my opinion as follow. First of all, this money is a motiv...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 52, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the kids') or simply say ''most kids''.
Suggestion: most of the kids; most kids
...l, this money is a motivation. Nowadays most of kids need stimulation for successful studyin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 236, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ts the best motivation for kids is money because adults know that with money they...
^^
Line 3, column 456, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ('Most of the kids') or simply say ''Most kids''.
Suggestion: Most of the kids; Most kids
...dults to improve their score at school. Most of kids do mot understand value of their studyi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 483, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e my income from good marks; that is why I felt my responsibility for each grade ...
^^
Line 6, column 626, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat parent offer money to their children for high marks at school. Last but ...
^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...arks at school. Last but not least, children should feel stressed and pressu...
^^
Line 9, column 108, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'organizes'?
Suggestion: organizes
...cause they fear from any money loss. It organize them to study every day and prepare for...
^^^^^^^^
Line 12, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...are for the lessons. In conclusion, offering money to adults could be a bene...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, hence, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, for instance, i think, in conclusion, kind of, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1715.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 360.0 407.700716846 88% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76388888889 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5304793256 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 212.727598566 86% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.508333333333 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 512.1 618.680645161 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.1181486397 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 77.9545454545 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.3636363636 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45454545455 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.379085687767 0.236089414692 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117963596457 0.076458572812 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101497117247 0.0737576698707 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.216794808613 0.150856017488 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.104461226896 0.0645574589148 162% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 11.7677419355 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 58.1214874552 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.03 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.06 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.