TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Undoubtedly, everyone in life needs to be awarded in various methods and this is an acceptable rule between all people especially children. In my estimation, I think that it is not a good idea for paying money for getting a good mark in school because of having a bad impact on children, leading to maturity in economic aspect and decreasing tolerate in their failures.

Firstly, when children give money for getting a good mark in school it can have some negative impact on their behavior. According to the psychologists, in this situations, children learn conditional progressing after a long time. For instance, when I was a child my father told me that if you get a good mark I will give you 20 dollars. At first, this suggestion was very appealing for me and I was trying hard to get money. After a while studying was not a pleasant activity for me and I had been conditional for getting money and a good mark. Thus, giving money for getting good mark can cause to appear conditional progressing.

Secondly, economic is one of the most important dimensions of life in each society that everyone should be taught in childhood. Based on assumptions, some of the successful business men have started their process of succeeding from childhood. In my opinion, by giving money children it can be lead to maturity in children. A child in school age must study well without any getting money from her or his parents. when a child gains money for getting a good mark, he or she thinks that gaining money is very simple as he or she gains now indeed this behavior can case to an immaturity for children.

Finally, parents can choose an alternative procedure for regarding their children. They can design some different ways for children when they get a good mark in school like going picnic, buying new shoes and whatever they want unless money. Children should learn that they can not be successful in all over their life and sometimes flute it is possible. Thus getting money for good mark may portray a vague picture on children's mind consequently their tolerant decrease in failing situation.

in sum, due to aforementioned reasons, it will be better parents choose another way for regarding their children. Money is chosen as the last choice for awarding.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 156, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ior. According to the psychologists, in this situations, children learn conditional ...
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Line 3, column 597, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'appearing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: appearing
...g money for getting good mark can cause to appear conditional progressing. Secondly, e...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 151, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ght in childhood. Based on assumptions, some of the successful business men have started th...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 413, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
... getting money from her or his parents. when a child gains money for getting a good ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...rant decrease in failing situation. in sum, due to aforementioned reasons, it ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, finally, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, thus, well, while, for instance, i think, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1881.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 390.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.82307692308 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71160483643 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.497435897436 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 567.9 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Interrogative: 3.0 0.994623655914 302% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.7681647201 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.0 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5263157895 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.15789473684 5.45110844103 131% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.344952323337 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121660799157 0.076458572812 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0675348683848 0.0737576698707 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212189022566 0.150856017488 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0511181006751 0.0645574589148 79% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 11.7677419355 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.