TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th

Spending time with children is a crucial role for parents in order to get close to them as well as to guide them throughout their entire life. IN case that parents do not have that much time to spend with their kids , they should try to use the moments available to have fun with them. I feel this way because both parents children need to have a good memories with their mother and father and also it will makes kids very attached to them.

First of all, playing games or sports with kids, parents will create a happy memories in their kids`minds. For instance, every time I pass by shahrazad park in my neighborhood I remember how I used to feel happy every time my father took me there. Those moments are unforgettable for me. So, I still remembering every single moments that he dedicated to play with me my favorite game Doweha. So, it is obvious that parents should spend time sharing interest with kids .

Secondly, having fun with children make the parent the best friend of them. For example my Dad was very consumed by his work , since was a jornalist and had a lot of business trips but, whenever he found time he spent that time taking me and my brothers to parks and playing with us our favorite games. In contrast, my mom was using her spare time helping us do our home works and supervisng our progression in school. Eventhough my mother assistance had helped us a lot in our studies carriers , but we loved our dad more because he was associated in our mind with fun and she was associated with roles and hard work. So having fun with kids is the key to get their love.

In conclusion, parents should always dedicate sometime to enjoy it with their children. This because kids will record unforgettable moments with them and will feel attached to them.

Votes
Average: 8.7 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 216, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... that much time to spend with their kids , they should try to use the moments avai...
^^
Line 1, column 353, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'memory'?
Suggestion: memory
...th parents children need to have a good memories with their mother and father and also i...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 408, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'make'
Suggestion: make
...heir mother and father and also it will makes kids very attached to them. First of...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 78, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'memory'?
Suggestion: memory
... with kids, parents will create a happy memories in their kids'minds. For instance,...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 267, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e my father took me there. Those moments are unforgettable for me. So, I still re...
^^
Line 3, column 474, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ld spend time sharing interest with kids . Secondly, having fun with children m...
^^
Line 5, column 125, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ple my Dad was very consumed by his work , since was a jornalist and had a lot of ...
^^
Line 5, column 451, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... school. Eventhough my mother assistance had helped us a lot in our studies carri...
^^
Line 5, column 496, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... helped us a lot in our studies carriers , but we loved our dad more because he wa...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, still, well, as to, for example, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in contrast, as well as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1458.0 1977.66487455 74% => OK
No of words: 321.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.54205607477 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23278547379 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43336570187 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 212.727598566 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.517133956386 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 444.6 618.680645161 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.6778958223 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.2 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0666666667 5.45110844103 185% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.303602924146 0.236089414692 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121648422235 0.076458572812 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0821778502572 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.185859449107 0.150856017488 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0766692232743 0.0645574589148 119% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.05 10.9000537634 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.84 8.01818996416 85% => OK
difficult_words: 44.0 86.8835125448 51% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.