TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

As a matter of fact, celebrities and famous people have always been in young people's heart. People care about those famous people and they have been trying to follow those celebrities in lot of aspects. People especially young people are affected by them more than their parents or other old people around them.

First of all, famous people are attractive. People listen to them and follow them in a variety of ways. Young people always pay attention to their programs or their speeches. Also teenagers have a big tend to listen to some attractive people instead of some usual educated people. For instance, my brother in law had the same situation when he was 14. He was super active and he has loved athletes. After high school he decided to leave his school and do sports. Every body accept his decision, but after a while he changed his idea about doing sports. My husband search about the reason and he found out the reason. My brother in low heard something positive about education of his favorite athlete and he decided to come back to school. That is how he affected by a sentence in that sensitive period of his life.

Second of all, people think they are successful so they know about any thing. Young adults think, they have a big ability for decision making, so they can be the best in each aspect of life, while they are not successful in some other aspect of life like as education. It is hard to separate these things, but it is sad to hear that some of child are going to follow a celebrity, because of his/her face or his/her body shape. They could be perfect in some majors, but they are not perfect in any thing.

Third of all, young adults love famous people and they spend most of their life in front of TV or follow them in newspapers etc. People just love them and no matter what they are talking about, they are tending to listen to them and accept their opinions in all matters. For example my nephew has loved one of entertainers in TV and he has spent most of his days in front of TV and just watch him and listen to him. He has judged my sister by that entertainer's opinion and they had lot of serious problem together.

To sum up, famous people are attractive and lovely for most of people especially young ones and also those young people tempting to follow them in a variety of ways.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 176, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...on to their programs or their speeches. Also teenagers have a big tend to listen to ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 299, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: brother-in-law
...usual educated people. For instance, my brother in law had the same situation when he was 14. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 405, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... active and he has loved athletes. After high school he decided to leave his scho...
^^
Line 3, column 622, Rule ID: MOTHER-IN-LOW[2]
Message: Possible typos. This word is usually spelled with hyphens: 'brother-in-law'.
Suggestion: brother-in-law
... reason and he found out the reason. My brother in low heard something positive about educatio...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 68, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'anything'?
Suggestion: anything
... they are successful so they know about any thing. Young adults think, they have a big ab...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 494, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[2]
Message: Did you mean 'anything'?
Suggestion: anything
...ome majors, but they are not perfect in any thing. Third of all, young adults love fam...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 449, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'entertainers'' or 'entertainer's'?
Suggestion: entertainers'; entertainer's
...to him. He has judged my sister by that entertainers opinion and they had lot of serious pro...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 56, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...us people are attractive and lovely for most of people especially young ones and also those yo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'if', 'second', 'so', 'third', 'while', 'for example', 'for instance', 'talking about', 'as a matter of fact', 'first of all', 'to sum up']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.222943722944 0.229887763892 97% => OK
Verbs: 0.155844155844 0.158761421928 98% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0887445887446 0.0866891130778 102% => OK
Adverbs: 0.030303030303 0.046263068375 66% => OK
Pronouns: 0.11038961039 0.0685040099705 161% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.134199134199 0.118717715034 113% => OK
Participles: 0.0281385281385 0.0351676179071 80% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.21477392287 2.67179642975 83% => OK
Infinitives: 0.034632034632 0.0309702414327 112% => OK
Particles: 0.004329004329 0.00188951952338 229% => OK
Determiners: 0.0714285714286 0.0887237588012 81% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.004329004329 0.0209618222197 21% => Some modal verbs wanted.
WH_determiners: 0.00649350649351 0.0139019557991 47% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2327.0 2387.08602151 97% => OK
No of words: 425.0 408.028673835 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.47529411765 5.86048508987 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48200974243 101% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.303529411765 0.338922669872 90% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.164705882353 0.251872472559 65% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.0894117647059 0.174417080927 51% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0588235294118 0.112833075102 52% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.21477392287 2.67179642975 83% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 212.727598566 91% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.454117647059 0.524397521467 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 49.3638097778 59.2087087015 83% => OK
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6684587814 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.4782608696 20.5533526081 90% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.1479187993 48.84282405 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.173913043 120.699889404 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4782608696 20.5533526081 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.608695652174 0.644075263715 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.54480286738 144% => OK
Readability: 34.9488491049 45.7405998639 76% => OK
Elegance: 1.29927007299 1.45489161554 89% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.347390609471 0.300154397459 116% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.133088105567 0.103427244359 129% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0923193175309 0.0752933317313 123% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.496979148033 0.497263757937 100% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.180873545541 0.151897553556 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131748915625 0.114077575197 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0663390823298 0.0781384742642 85% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.322389394519 0.336927656856 96% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0538189222251 0.067059652881 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.246930340146 0.210909579961 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.033627501891 0.0618886996521 54% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8870967742 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.86379928315 155% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.91756272401 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 10.0 8.42114695341 119% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.75985663082 36% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 13.6433691756 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.