TPO21 – Independent: A/D? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
In today's world, people are in an intense challenge to achieve the success. There are recent debates over whether studying hard in school will guarantee people’s success in a future job or not. Different people hold different views due to their distinct backgrounds and perspectives. Some people may hold the opinion that it is better for you to study hard in school but others have a negative attitude. As a matter of fact, the issue of studying more serious for your future career is so complicated and controversial that it is impossible to find a universal answer to this question. Nevertheless, I endorse that, to some extent, studying more seriously is more important than people’s ability to relate well. In order to substantiate my vantage points, I would like to address some key evidences: most companies and job seeker institutions need people with high grades and more educated; and also, a better understanding of our future job.
In the first place, through studying harder you gain knowledge about position of your career in the society, what your job’s goal is and what actions are necessary for your occupation to be helpful in your country or in the world which enables you to be successful in your profession. Moreover, when a person is educated, he or she is able to provide appropriate solutions to solve problems. Take a friend of mine as an example, he worked for a company five years and when there was a problem, because he was sophisticated he was able to think about the problem in many direction and solved it in a shorter time than his colleagues who were social individuals and at these times they consulted with each other or other people about the problem. My friend told me that his coworkers always wasted time and could not find a suitable solution for problems in their company. Thus, my friend became so well-known that allowed him to get job offers from reputable companies in the world.
Along the same line, another privilege of the aforementioned idea; studying hard in university will give you an opportunity to get high grades which help you when you are looking for a job. In order for companies to hire employees, companies look at the application of the workers and examine their grades in schools since they will get an image about what is the ability of the applicants. For instance, one day my brother sent his resume to a company but his rivals had more grades than him so that company rejected his request.
To put the issue into perspective, by taking into account these entire aspects, studying harder will definitely give you more opportunities when you seek a job and you will be successful in doing your career with problems.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 571, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun direction seems to be countable; consider using: 'many directions'.
Suggestion: many directions
... was able to think about the problem in many direction and solved it in a shorter time than hi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, thus, well, for instance, as a matter of fact, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2244.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 462.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85714285714 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75745003009 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515151515152 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 710.1 618.680645161 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 74.0074953974 48.9658058833 151% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.25 100.406767564 140% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.875 20.6045352989 140% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.875 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.326519726827 0.236089414692 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113263884401 0.076458572812 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0946056958779 0.0737576698707 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.194228921308 0.150856017488 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.151193142877 0.0645574589148 234% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 11.7677419355 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 58.1214874552 89% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.5 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.