Which of the following activities would be most beneficial for young people to do in their spare time? why?
1.learning to play a sport
2. Learning to play a musical instrument.
Nowadays, by progressing the technology, people can do more activities before the past. Depending on personal experiences and personality type, young people might have different opinions about this subject. Some persons prefer to spend their time in the virtual world, while others have a negative attitude toward it. As far as I am concerned, I agree that learning to play a sport is the most beneficial activity for young people because of several reasons including helping them to be healthy and being financial income in the future.
The health issue is the first reason of current discussion. Research showed that doing one-hour sports activity in a day has a profound effect on people's health. With this in mind, we can understand the value of learning to play a sport on young people' life. In other words, if a young person wants to learn a sport, he would have healthier body rather than a person who doesn't want to learn a sport since learning to play sport is a kind of sports activity as well as being skilled in that sport. For example, my little brother took part in soccer class 2 years ago to learn soccer. On the other hand, my nice participated in no sports class. The difference between them is about their immune system of the body which my brother was sick lower than my nice. Therefore, being healthy is a momentous reason for young people in order to learn to play a sport.
Another noteworthy reason is the financial issue. It sounds logical to say that financial problems are the most considerable issues in people's life and thus any activity that leads to having positive effect on this, is notable. In this regard, it should be noted that if we being skilled in activity or having information about that, we can get money by learning it to others. The first step to being sophisticated in activities is learning it in basic levels. So, learning to play a sport is a financial source for young people in the future. Imagine, a young person who started to learn football sport. He should participate in different classes of football to be skilled. After he became enough sophisticated, he would be able to learn others and earn money from it. Thus, learning to play a sport is an activity that has a huge impact on the financial issue in the future.
In conclusion, we learn that learning to play a sport not only helps young people to be healthy but also it enhances people's income in the future life. Finally, it should be noted that each activity has its advantages, but from my point of view, learning to play a sport is the most beneficial activity.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 372, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...healthier body rather than a person who doesnt want to learn a sport since learning to...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, in conclusion, kind of, as well as, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2135.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 455.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.69230769231 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55053406305 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.463736263736 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 656.1 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.3933161033 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.8260869565 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7826086957 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.39130434783 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.397890411987 0.236089414692 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131111957062 0.076458572812 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0962350644391 0.0737576698707 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.294349905594 0.150856017488 195% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0273708117841 0.0645574589148 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.92 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.11 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.