Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, dangerous activities are too popular, Some people are attracted to it and find it great. It is hard to think about the reasons that make such games fascinating. Most of people probably do not know the bad out comes of it. I believe dangerous activities become widespread because it is attractive and we always look for something new. Moreover it could be a way to be a hero and faimous by fighting with your fear. this short assay will demonstrate that reasons with examples in the following paragraphs.
First, in my opinion it is widely understood that many people become addicted to dangerous activities like car's races, jumbing from mountens, and many other sports. They like to be scared, have fast heart beats and increasing level of adrenalin. They will be satisfied and feel happy in the same time. My university made study on the students who were addicted to such games. Ten of fifteen student were suffering from depression and they tried to recover by participating in dangerous games.
On the other hand, some other people do rekless acts for proving strength. They want to show the world,they are heros and fear nothing. For example, I saw a movie on facebook for someone is jumping from building to another without any save cords. Many people saw that movie in a short period of time, they talke about him in news. He become famous in only one day.
From what has been discussed above, we may finnalu draw a conclusion that some people like to act differently and play dangerous games to make them satisfied, be famous or runaway from the stress in their life.
Some people are attracted to it and find it great.
Description: 'it' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronoun.
dangerous activities become widespread because it is attractive
dangerous activities become widespread because they are attractive
I saw a movie on facebook for someone is jumping from building
I saw a movie on facebook for someone who is jumping from building
Sentence: Moreover it could be a way to be a hero and faimous by fighting with your fear. this short assay will demonstrate that reasons with examples in the following paragraphs.
Error: faimous Suggestion: famous
Sentence: First, in my opinion it is widely understood that many people become addicted to dangerous activities like car's races, jumbing from mountens, and many other sports.
Error: mountens Suggestion: mounted
Error: jumbing Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: On the other hand, some other people do rekless acts for proving strength.
Error: rekless Suggestion: reckless
Sentence: Many people saw that movie in a short period of time, they talke about him in news.
Error: talke Suggestion: take
Sentence: From what has been discussed above, we may finnalu draw a conclusion that some people like to act differently and play dangerous games to make them satisfied, be famous or runaway from the stress in their life.
Error: finnalu Suggestion: final
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 277 350
No. of Characters: 1279 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.08 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.617 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.434 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.473 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.375 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5