Your school has received a gift of money. What do you think is the best way for your school to spend that money?

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Your school has received a gift of money. What do you think is the best way for your school to spend that money?

Education plays a significant role in students' lives. It is important because it helps students to have a better future.If the people's opinions are going to be considered =, some of them may prefer to spend that money on renewing the classes; others would choose to spend that money on changing the cafeteria. In my view, I believe that school should spend that money on renovating the library for the following essential reasons.

First, the references in the library are out of date. In fact, updating the books and providing the library with the cutting-edge computers will positively impact on students. Consequently, students will flourish and succeed in the school. For example, one day when I was in a Pharmacy school, I had an exam in Pharmaceutical technology. Frankly, I had a difficulty understanding the technique of how manufacturing a tablet. Normally, I would ask the professor about that issue, but the professor was not in the college at that day. So, I had to go to the library searching for a book to simplify this topic for me. I found a book, in that book explainign the technigue by measuring only a half of the active ingredients and put it in the oven for at least two hours and then add other ingredients. After I took the test, unfortunately, I did not pass. When I asked the professor about it, he told me that the technique was old and wrong. He added that there were recent studies are saying that this technique is not safe as it release a toxic material. If there were updated books in the libarary, I was able to know this information and pass my test. It is necessary to take care of the school library.

Second, it is important to provide students with a clean, well-organized and quiet area to study. As a matter of fact, granting a quiet place for students will motivate them and make them concentrate on their subjects. For instance, one time when I was in a Pharmacy school, I had an exam in Chemistry. Usually, I would go to my home to study which is fifteen miles away, but this time there was a snow storm which made me unable to leave the school. Therefore, I had to go to libarary in order to study for my test. In the libaray, there was no individuals' or group studying rooms so I had to study with other students. There was a group of students studying over there, there were so loud and noisy. I was unable to focus, and I had a difficulty in comprehending my topic. Ultimately, I got D grade in that subject, which in turn lower my overall average. This is a simple example why I want the school to spend the money on library.

In conclusion, based on the aspects revealed above, I believe that shcools should taking care of their libraries not only because it helps students find references but also because it grants them a good place to study.

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Average: 7 (2 votes)
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He added that there were recent studies are saying that this technique is not safe as it release a toxic material.
He added that recent studies are saying that this technique is not safe as it releases a toxic material.

Sentence: In conclusion, based on the aspects revealed above, I believe that shcools should taking care of their libraries not only because it helps students find references but also because it grants them a good place to study.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to should and taking

Sentence: I found a book, in that book explainign the technigue by measuring only a half of the active ingredients and put it in the oven for at least two hours and then add other ingredients.
Error: technigue Suggestion: technique
Error: explainign Suggestion: explaining

Sentence: If there were updated books in the libarary, I was able to know this information and pass my test.
Error: libarary Suggestion: library

Sentence: Therefore, I had to go to libarary in order to study for my test.
Error: libarary Suggestion: library

Sentence: In the libaray, there was no individuals' or group studying rooms so I had to study with other students.
Error: libaray Suggestion: liberal

Sentence: In conclusion, based on the aspects revealed above, I believe that shcools should taking care of their libraries not only because it helps students find references but also because it grants them a good place to study.
Error: shcools Suggestion: schools

flaws:
No. of Words: 505 while No. of Different Words: 229 //need to make examples shorter

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 505 350
No. of Characters: 2226 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.74 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.408 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.645 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.704 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.597 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.426 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5