Asthma
Asthma is usually seen as a condition whose symptoms can be adequately controlled with the right medicines. Researchers point out that it is an intermittent disorder, characterized by temporary bouts of inflammation of the airways, which lead to typical symptoms such as wheezing, coughing, and shortness of breath; after each episode (often known as an attack), symptoms subside and the airways return to normal.
Asthmatics tend to be susceptible to certain triggers in the environment. These include but are not restricted to animal fur, pollen, cigarette smoke, house dust mites, and perfumes. Attacks can also be brought on by exercise, emotional stress, or a variety of other factors including respiratory infections such as the common cold.
During an episode of asthma, the bronchial tubes and the smaller tubes dividing off from these, known as bronchioles, become narrow or blocked and as a result air can't get in or out of the lungs easily. There are two basic causes behind bronchial narrowing: either the bronchi and bronchioles are squeezed by muscles wrapped around them rather like elastic bands, or they become blocked by mucus and swelling inside the tubes themselves. When the bronchi are constricted, the condition is called bronchoconstriction. Occasional squeezing of the bronchi is normal, but in asthma sufferers these muscles may react too sensitively to environmental triggers. It is also a normal function of the bronchial tubes to produce mucus and, in concert with tiny hairs called cilia, to trap inhaled irritants and remove them from the body, thus protecting the lungs. But some asthmatics produce an overabundance of mucus, and this results in blocked airways and consequent asthmatic symptoms.
The passage states about the causes of Asthma and what happens to biological parts during this period. The lectures says about what is the fundamental cause of the Asthma. Firstly,the lecturer claims that after the Asthma attack, airways become normal. Moreover, the passage states that after an attack symptoms subside and the airways return to normal. Secondly,he lecturer talks about remodeling of tubes. He also says it as a primary cause of the Asthma. However, the passage states that causes of the Asthma is not restricted to animal fur,pollen,cigarette smoke,house dust mites, and perfumes. But attacks can also be brought on by exrcise,emotional stress, or a variety of other factors such as common cold. Finally,he lecturer claims that remodeling of tubes can also be happen in young children. It is also possible even before the birth. The genetic factors and enviroment may be the reason for it. However, the passage doesn't state anything about it. To conclude, the lectures talks about fundamental cause of the Asthma after new evidence and what factors affect it. In contrast, the passage describes a general causes of the Asthma and what happens in a period of Asthma.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The passage states about the causes of A...
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Line 1, column 124, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'say'.
Suggestion: say
... parts during this period. The lectures says about what is the fundamental cause of ...
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Line 1, column 180, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is the fundamental cause of the Asthma. Firstly,the lecturer claims that after t...
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Line 1, column 192, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...mental cause of the Asthma. Firstly,the lecturer claims that after the Asthma a...
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Line 1, column 316, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'symptom'?
Suggestion: symptom
...the passage states that after an attack symptoms subside and the airways return to norma...
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Line 1, column 367, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...bside and the airways return to normal. Secondly,he lecturer talks about remodel...
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Line 1, column 380, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , he
... airways return to normal. Secondly,he lecturer talks about remodeling of tube...
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Line 1, column 460, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ubes. He also says it as a primary cause of the Asthma. However, the passage sta...
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Line 1, column 563, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , pollen
...e Asthma is not restricted to animal fur,pollen,cigarette smoke,house dust mites, and p...
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Line 1, column 586, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , house
...ted to animal fur,pollen,cigarette smoke,house dust mites, and perfumes. But attacks c...
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Line 1, column 664, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , emotional
...ttacks can also be brought on by exrcise,emotional stress, or a variety of other factors s...
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Line 1, column 734, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y of other factors such as common cold. Finally,he lecturer claims that remodeli...
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Line 1, column 746, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , he
...actors such as common cold. Finally,he lecturer claims that remodeling of tube...
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Line 1, column 954, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...the reason for it. However, the passage doesnt state anything about it. To conclu...
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Line 1, column 986, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...passage doesnt state anything about it. To conclude, the lectures talks about fu...
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Line 1, column 1173, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...describes a general causes of the Asthma and what happens in a period of Asthma.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, in contrast, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 5.04856512141 59% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 7.30242825607 110% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 12.0772626932 33% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 22.412803532 58% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 30.3222958057 96% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 991.0 1373.03311258 72% => OK
No of words: 193.0 270.72406181 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13471502591 5.08290768461 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.72725689877 4.04702891845 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82154682279 2.5805825403 109% => OK
Unique words: 99.0 145.348785872 68% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.512953367876 0.540411800872 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 313.2 419.366225166 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 3.25607064018 123% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.23620309051 109% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.51434878587 198% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0662251656 107% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 21.2450331126 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.1558094467 49.2860985944 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 70.7857142857 110.228320801 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.7857142857 21.698381199 64% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.28571428571 7.06452816374 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 1.0 4.09492273731 24% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 16.0 4.19205298013 382% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 4.33554083885 23% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 4.45695364238 67% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.27373068433 234% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0369980295475 0.272083759551 14% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.015456979976 0.0996497079465 16% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0251336782812 0.0662205650399 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0369980295475 0.162205337803 23% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0443174109184 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 13.3589403974 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.28 53.8541721854 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.0289183223 76% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.88 12.2367328918 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.42419426049 94% => OK
difficult_words: 44.0 63.6247240618 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 10.7273730684 51% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.498013245 69% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Minimum four paragraphs wanted. The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Less contents wanted from the reading passages(25%), more content wanted from the lecture (75%).
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
Read sample essays from ETS:
http://www.testbig.com/users/toeflwritingmaster
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.