TOEFL integrated writing: fuel-cell engines

The article states that the internal combustion engine should be replaced with hydrogen based fuel cell engine in cars and provides three reasons of supports.However, the professor explains that hydrogen based fuel cell engine is not a good option in replacement of internal combustion engine and refute each of the author's reasons.

First, the reading claims that internal combustion engine relies upon petroleum products to works ie: on gasoline or diesel which is a finite source of energy and hydrogen can be derieved from renewable sources and easily available . The professor refutes this point by saying that hydrogen is not easily available in its required form. She states that hydrogen have to be extracted from its sources and have to be converted to liquid form and should be stored in in -200 celsius which is very difficult.

Second, the article posits that internal combustion engine produce pollution by burning of oil which produces pollutant like carbon dioxide and claims that hydrogen fuel cell engine is a good option to eliminate this problem. However, the professor says that to extract pure desired form of hydrogen makes more pollution as this extraction requires burning of coals etc.

Third , the reading says that hydrogen fuel cell engine will be less expensive and twice efficient than internal combustion engine. on the other hand, the professor opposes this point by explaining that there will be no cost saving as fuel cell engines parts need to be made of plantinum which is a very rare and expensive material.

Votes
Average: 8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

is not a good option in replacement of internal combustion engine and refute each of the author's reasons.
is not a good option in replacement of internal combustion engine and refutes each of the author's reasons.

internal combustion engine produce pollution
internal combustion engine produces pollution

hydrogen have to be extracted
hydrogen has to be extracted

Sentence: Third , the reading says that hydrogen fuel cell engine will be less expensive and twice efficient than internal combustion engine. on the other hand, the professor opposes this point by explaining that there will be no cost saving as fuel cell engines parts need to be made of plantinum which is a very rare and expensive material.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to engines and parts

Sentence: First, the reading claims that internal combustion engine relies upon petroleum products to works ie: on gasoline or diesel which is a finite source of energy and hydrogen can be derieved from renewable sources and easily available .
Error: derieved Suggestion: derived

Sentence: Third , the reading says that hydrogen fuel cell engine will be less expensive and twice efficient than internal combustion engine. on the other hand, the professor opposes this point by explaining that there will be no cost saving as fuel cell engines parts need to be made of plantinum which is a very rare and expensive material.
Error: plantinum Suggestion: platinum

flaws:
More content wanted from the lecture.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 7 12
No. of Words: 253 250
No. of Characters: 1273 1200
No. of Different Words: 125 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.988 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.032 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.42 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.559 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.507 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.768 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4