TPO-24 - Integrated Writing Task
The passage talks about the fossil of T.rex which scientists think that this fossil contains remains of actual tissues of the animal. Scientists broke the bone and found some sign of blood vessels, red blood cells, and collagen matrix. The lecturer, however, thinks scientists should be skeptical of this evidence. he provides some reasons to refuse the reasons of the article.
First, the article writes that the bone has small branching channels which may be hollows of blood vessels that were located there once. They also found some soft substance in these hollows that may be remains of the blood vessels of T.rex; however, the speaker claims that this soft substance is not remains of blood vessels because when an animal dies, bacteria make hollows in the bones of that animal and usually bacteria leave some organic material behind themselves.
Second, the passage claims that microscopic examination of the bone revealed that there are some spheres in the bone that might be remains of blood cells. These spheres help blood cells to transport oxygen to tissues with Iron materials that have a red center, but the speaker says fossils of other animals that were found in the same area contain Iron too, and some of them are not even red. He thinks this red material might be some pieces of reddish mineral there.
Third, the article suggests that the dinosaur leg bone contained collagen, which is a fiber protein that is the main component of living bone tissue. Though the professor says collagen goes back to 100000 years ago no longer than that, however, this T.rex fossil dates back to 7 million years ago. He thinks this collagen might come from somewhere else because the human skin has the same protein and maybe this collagen belongs to the skin of those researchers who picked the bone.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
No. of Words: 309 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 12
No. of Words: 309 250
No. of Characters: 1466 1200
No. of Different Words: 148 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.744 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.15 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.905 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.405 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.638 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.168 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The passage talks about the fossil of T....
^^^^
Line 1, column 320, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...s should be skeptical of this evidence. he provides some reasons to refuse the rea...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o refuse the reasons of the article. First, the article writes that the bone ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... organic material behind themselves. Second, the passage claims that microsco...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ome pieces of reddish mineral there. Third, the article suggests that the din...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, may, second, so, third
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 10.4613686534 115% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 5.04856512141 119% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 7.30242825607 82% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 12.0772626932 157% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 22.412803532 134% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 30.3222958057 106% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 5.01324503311 80% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1510.0 1373.03311258 110% => OK
No of words: 306.0 270.72406181 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93464052288 5.08290768461 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18244613648 4.04702891845 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.17699065407 2.5805825403 84% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 145.348785872 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506535947712 0.540411800872 94% => OK
syllable_count: 446.4 419.366225166 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 3.25607064018 184% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.23620309051 73% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.51434878587 198% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 2.5761589404 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 13.0662251656 92% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 21.2450331126 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.3471577878 49.2860985944 149% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.833333333 110.228320801 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5 21.698381199 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.08333333333 7.06452816374 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 4.19205298013 119% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 4.33554083885 23% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 4.45695364238 112% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.527770233036 0.272083759551 194% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.19299256163 0.0996497079465 194% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108188327594 0.0662205650399 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.315837188527 0.162205337803 195% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0509855158507 0.0443174109184 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 13.3589403974 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 53.8541721854 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.0289183223 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.61 12.2367328918 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.42419426049 98% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 63.6247240618 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.7273730684 70% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.498013245 114% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.2008830022 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.