TPO 30 - Integrated writing task

Essay topics:

TPO 30 - Integrated writing task

The Roman navy attacked the Greek port city of Syracuse. The Greeks defended themselves using an ingenious weapon known as "burning mirror". This weapon was a polished copper surface curved in order to focus the Sun's rays onto the ships, causing them to be burned. The reading states that this is just a story and the Greeks of Syracuse never really built such a weapon, thereby providing three reasons of support. However, the professor in the lecture explains that this is quite possible that the weapon could have been built by the Greeks.So, she refutes each of the author's reasons.
First, the reading claims that the ancient Greeks were not technologically advanced enough to be able to make such a device because, the technology of building a large sheet of copper with its specifications did not exist back then. In contrast, the professor opposes this point by saying that the Greeks did not make just one sheet of copper. They manufactured dozends of them and polished them so as to form many small pieces of this device.
Second, the article posits that this machine would have taken a long time in order to set the ships on fire. On the contrary, the professor refutes this point, explaining that the Romans used a sticky substance called "pitch" to make their ships that could have been burned in just a few seconds. Knowing this fact, the Greeks targeted their ships. That is why they did not need a lot of time to be burned.
Finally, the reading states that the burning mirror does not seem to be an advancement on a weapon the Greeks already had: flaming arrows. That is to say, the Greeks could have set the Romans ships using flaming arrows which were very common. However, the professor contradicts this point, saying that when the Greeks targeted the Romans' with the burning mirror, they actually had not enough time to defend themselves. So they could have been easily surprised by the Greeks.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 554, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...pon could have been built by the Greeks.So, she refutes each of the authors reason...
^^
Line 2, column 396, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...tured dozends of them and polished them so as to form many small pieces of this device. ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, finally, first, however, if, really, second, so, then, as to, in contrast, on the contrary, that is to say

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 10.4613686534 134% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 5.04856512141 119% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 7.30242825607 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 12.0772626932 116% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 22.412803532 152% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 30.3222958057 115% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1609.0 1373.03311258 117% => OK
No of words: 332.0 270.72406181 123% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84638554217 5.08290768461 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.2685907696 4.04702891845 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50091252035 2.5805825403 97% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 145.348785872 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506024096386 0.540411800872 94% => OK
syllable_count: 475.2 419.366225166 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.55342163355 90% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 3.25607064018 184% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.23620309051 158% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 2.5761589404 116% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 13.0662251656 122% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 21.2450331126 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.4561945222 49.2860985944 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.5625 110.228320801 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.75 21.698381199 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.25 7.06452816374 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 4.19205298013 48% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 4.33554083885 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 4.45695364238 179% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.458895743718 0.272083759551 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.150261198487 0.0996497079465 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0808327912667 0.0662205650399 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.282181643607 0.162205337803 174% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0888438440514 0.0443174109184 200% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 13.3589403974 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 53.8541721854 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 5.55761589404 56% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 11.0289183223 79% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 12.2367328918 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.42419426049 95% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 63.6247240618 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.7273730684 98% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.498013245 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.2008830022 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 20 minutes.

Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.