TPO-40 - Integrated Writing Task Many scientists believe it would be possible to maintain a permanent human presence on Mars or the Moon. On the other hand, conditions on Venus are so extreme and inhospitable that maintaining a human presence there would

The reading states that conditions on Venus makes it inhospitable for human and provide three reasons of support. On the other hand, the professor disagrees and says that even though maintaining stations on Venus would be challenging, it is possible. He refutes each author's reasons.

Initially, the reading says that atmospheric pressure on venus is 90 times extremer than the pressure at Earth's atmosphere and all constructions would be crushed. On the contrary, the professor says that instead of building stations on the Venus's surface, they could float in the Venus's atmosphere, in which the pressure is as great as the Earth's atmospheric pressure. Hence, no crushing would be occured.

Furthermore, the reading claims that there is no evidence of existing of water on the Venus's surface and oxygen amount is exteremly low, also lack of water vaporation cannot replace oxygen reduction. In contrast, the professor argues this notion by saying that there are carbon dioxide and solphoric asid in the Venus's atmosphere and scientists could make oxygen out of them, so the oxygen importing problem would be solved.

Last but not least, the reading states that the level of sunlight that reached the Venus's surface is really low, because most of them are reflected by carbon dioxide of the Venus's clouds. As a result, human can not produce their required electricity out of sunlight. However, the profesor says that these clouds are not very thick, so some sunlight can reach the Venus's surface and also scientists can utilize the reflection of sunlight to produce electricity.

Votes
Average: 8 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

conditions on Venus makes it inhospitable
conditions on Venus make it inhospitable

Sentence: Hence, no crushing would be occured.
Error: occured Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Furthermore, the reading claims that there is no evidence of existing of water on the Venus's surface and oxygen amount is exteremly low, also lack of water vaporation cannot replace oxygen reduction.
Error: vaporation Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: exteremly Suggestion: extremely

Sentence: In contrast, the professor argues this notion by saying that there are carbon dioxide and solphoric asid in the Venus's atmosphere and scientists could make oxygen out of them, so the oxygen importing problem would be solved.
Error: asid Suggestion: said
Error: solphoric Suggestion: ?

Sentence: However, the profesor says that these clouds are not very thick, so some sunlight can reach the Venus's surface and also scientists can utilize the reflection of sunlight to produce electricity.
Error: profesor Suggestion: professor

flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Double check spelling errors.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 11 12
No. of Words: 256 250
No. of Characters: 1303 1200
No. of Different Words: 134 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.09 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.596 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.889 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.395 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.644 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.161 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4