TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

According to the passage, the storing of patients' medical records in electronic databases has several advantages over traditional paper-based recording. But, the lecturer claims that electronic databases for storing medical records is not as benificiary as the passage suggests.

Firstly, the passage claims that the use of electronic records can help to reduce costs by saving money on storing and transferring medical records. Electronic records don't require any storage space. The doctors can easily access the records from almost anywhere and easily access and transport. However, the lecturer argues that the electornic databases don't reduce cost significantly. The doctors still use paper-based recording because it helps them in emergency time and for backup.

Secondly, the passage talks about preventing errors. The passage states that electronic medical records are crucial to reducing the chances of medical records. However, the lecturer opines that this method doesn't remove error. It still uses pen and paper from notes. The doctors still uses paper to write medical description and offices staff type these medical description into electronic databases. It may be possible that the office staff interpret it wrongly. So error may not be reduced with the use of electronic database.

Finally, the passage decribes that the electronic database helps them to collect large amount of the data nad they can easily access records from anywhere. However, the lecturer says that it is not easily to access records of any patient because sometimes user keeps their medical records private. So the doctors have to follow some rules and require a permission from the patient which is not easily granted.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 169, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ing medical records. Electronic records dont require any storage space. The doctors ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 356, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...er argues that the electornic databases dont reduce cost significantly. The doctors ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 207, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...r, the lecturer opines that this method doesnt remove error. It still uses pen and pap...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e patient which is not easily granted.
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 10.4613686534 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 5.04856512141 99% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 7.30242825607 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 12.0772626932 75% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 22.412803532 85% => OK
Preposition: 25.0 30.3222958057 82% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 5.01324503311 40% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1457.0 1373.03311258 106% => OK
No of words: 264.0 270.72406181 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.51893939394 5.08290768461 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03089032464 4.04702891845 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59774207513 2.5805825403 101% => OK
Unique words: 133.0 145.348785872 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.503787878788 0.540411800872 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 467.1 419.366225166 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.55342163355 116% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.116997792494 0% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.23620309051 146% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 2.5761589404 39% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 13.0662251656 130% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 21.2450331126 71% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.6700297567 49.2860985944 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.7058823529 110.228320801 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.5294117647 21.698381199 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.41176470588 7.06452816374 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 4.19205298013 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 4.33554083885 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 4.45695364238 112% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.666265205539 0.272083759551 245% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.218619569025 0.0996497079465 219% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.132619582522 0.0662205650399 200% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.448083767515 0.162205337803 276% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0632976931735 0.0443174109184 143% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 13.3589403974 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 39.33 53.8541721854 73% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.0289183223 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.44 12.2367328918 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.42419426049 100% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 63.6247240618 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.7273730684 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.498013245 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.