TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

The reading passage contends that there are three advantages of electronic medical record system in which information about patients is kept in electronic databases. On the other hand, the lecturer brings about several points that contradict this argument.
First of all, the lecturer questions the idea in the reading passage that adopting electronic medical record systems are able to help reduce costs by saving money on storing and transferring the records. This is attributed to the fact that even patients’ information could be saved in the databases, doctors have to also keep their information as paper in order to back up emergency situation and support legal reasons. The costs are equal with before they adopted the system. Thus, the reading passage’s first idea is invalid.
Moreover, the lecturer casts doubt on the idea in the reading passage that it could reduce the chances of medical errors by adopting electronic medical record system. This is because doctors would use paper-type record after installed the system. They also revise records in the database with their permission. Consequently, the reading passage’s second idea is contradicted.
Last but not least, the lecturer disagrees with the idea in the reading passage that by adopting electronic medical records, it is possible to gather large amounts of data from patient records for aiding medical research. It is obvious that the access into medical records is difficult for doctors without restrict and complicated permission from doctors’ offices. Also the permission would not be granted. As a result, the reading passage’s last idea is refuted.

Votes
Average: 8.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 370, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... permission from doctors' offices. Also the permission would not be granted. As...
^^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'consequently', 'first', 'if', 'moreover', 'second', 'so', 'thus', 'as a result', 'first of all', 'on the other hand']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.282828282828 0.261695866417 108% => OK
Verbs: 0.151515151515 0.158904122519 95% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0976430976431 0.0723426182421 135% => OK
Adverbs: 0.03367003367 0.0435111971325 77% => OK
Pronouns: 0.023569023569 0.0277247811725 85% => OK
Prepositions: 0.131313131313 0.128828473217 102% => OK
Participles: 0.0505050505051 0.0370669169778 136% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.84442600138 2.5805825403 110% => OK
Infinitives: 0.016835016835 0.0208969081088 81% => OK
Particles: 0.003367003367 0.00154638098197 218% => OK
Determiners: 0.0976430976431 0.128158765124 76% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.013468013468 0.0158828679856 85% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.010101010101 0.0114777025283 88% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1654.0 1645.83664459 100% => OK
No of words: 256.0 271.125827815 94% => OK
Chars per words: 6.4609375 6.08160592843 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0 4.04852973271 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.43359375 0.374372842146 116% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.36328125 0.287516216867 126% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.2109375 0.187439937562 113% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.13671875 0.113142543107 121% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84442600138 2.5805825403 110% => OK
Unique words: 131.0 145.348785872 90% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51171875 0.539623497131 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 48.6152730449 53.8517498576 90% => OK
How many sentences: 14.0 13.0529801325 107% => OK
Sentence length: 18.2857142857 21.7502111507 84% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.4071868217 49.3711431718 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.142857143 132.220823453 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2857142857 21.7502111507 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.857142857143 0.878197800319 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 3.39072847682 29% => OK
Readability: 54.6138392857 50.5018328374 108% => OK
Elegance: 2.22580645161 1.90840788429 117% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.571756684701 0.549887131256 104% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.099215097514 0.142949733639 69% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0693804481947 0.0787303798458 88% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.573147855678 0.631733273073 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.145546912498 0.139662658121 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.238599365579 0.266732575781 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.145453522443 0.103435571967 141% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.515680547335 0.414875509568 124% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.069084493911 0.0530846634433 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.433894635395 0.40443939384 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0436539281841 0.0528353158467 83% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 4.33554083885 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 4.45695364238 135% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.26048565121 117% => OK
Positive topic words: 3.0 3.49668874172 86% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 3.62251655629 138% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 3.1766004415 94% => OK
Total topic words: 11.0 10.2958057395 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 86.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.