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Some people think placing advertisements in schools is a great resource for public schools that need additionally funding, but others think it exploits children by treating them as a captive audience for corporate sponsors. Choose which position you most

Essay topics: Some people think placing advertisements in schools is a great resource for public schools that need additionally funding, but others think it exploits children by treating them as a captive audience for corporate sponsors.
Choose which position you most agree with and discuss why you chose that position. Support your point of view with details from your own experiences, observations or reading.

supbro119's picture

People hold different views about the moral issues related to advertisments in schools. Some assert that placing adverts would take advantage of children. However, I believe that this would have a positive impact on both school facilities and children for a number of reasons.

To begin with, I believe that funds raised by advertising will in turn be spent on improving schools. With the money gained from the activity, school facilities such as sports and arts sections will be be reinvested and maintained at a high level quality for children's use. Schools also can hire children guards to protect them from strangers who are suspected to commit crimes. Finally, the quality of food provided by school canteens to children can be improved. For example, more healthy food can be selected and provided with a wide range of choice among vegetable and fruit rather than pre-made or processed food.

Furthermore, the quality of education can be developed with the money earned from advertisements. School teachers will be able to provide children with up-to-date technology based education through computers and with a lot of study materials printed. Moreover, Schools can arrange a number of useful excursions for children for free to give them a chance to experience new things and expand their horizons.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the benefits of adverts placed in schools outweith the drawbacks, provided that the money will eventually be re-invested into schools for children.

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Comments

Sentence: People hold different views about the moral issues related to advertisments in schools.
Error: advertisments Suggestion: advertisements

Sentence: In conclusion, it seems to me that the benefits of adverts placed in schools outweith the drawbacks, provided that the money will eventually be re-invested into schools for children.
Error: outweith Suggestion: outweigh

flaws:
No. of Words: 240 350
Minimum 250 words wanted.

Need one paragraph for drawbacks.

and need to expand your ideas. Don't just put one sentence for one idea. like this:

Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 240 350
No. of Characters: 1226 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.936 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.108 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.67 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.311 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.365 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

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