166) People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
People have different opinion regarding a difference between children and adults. Different stories mentioning about children and adults represent various ideas and opinions. In my view, events make a child to an adult.
First of all, experiences in life make us to grow and knowledge is the main key factors to become an adult. For instance, a school can provide children good education with wide range of knowledge but children can not implement those ideas in practical because they are not experienced and sometimes do not have the capability to think out of bookish knowledge and understand the world. Whereas, when he goes to the college by then he/she will be capable to understand the circumstance happening around them. They will be more matured and bit experienced in life.
In addition, children always depend on their parents, whereas, an adult will be independent. A person when starts to work, develop his career that is when he is considered as an adult. By this stage a person will have more experience and self-confidence, responsibility and awareness of the society and social system. Being financially stable that too from his own effort and hard work without others support will definitely called as an adult.
Furthermore, getting married is a huge decision to make as an adult, making decision regarding marriage is not a single reason, but there are plenty of critical decisions to make in life. But after having job and settling in career, next step is marriage. A person should take care of his life partner both mentally and financially. So to do all these in life, a person should have proper experience. Ceremony don't teach all these experiences, knowledge and many more valuable things in life.
In conclusion, adult should always be considered be his/her experiences. Knowledge, responsibility, financial stability and many more are very precious things in life.
Sentence: In conclusion, adult should always be considered be his/her experiences.
Description: A verb, past participle is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to considered and be
Ceremony don't teach
Ceremonies don't teach
flaws:
...but there are plenty of critical decisions to make in life. But after having job and settling ...
Be sensitive to use 'But'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 312 350
No. of Characters: 1542 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.203 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.942 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.79 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 116 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.647 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5