Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should only play
sports for fun, not in competition or contest.
Many contemporary children play sports aim to win the competition or contest rather than entertainment. This phenomenon has drew me into a deep thinking for a long time. From my own perspective, kids should enjoy the sports but not compete. Here I've analysed two leading factors.
Firstly, in my opinion, the most valuable element for a child is happiness in their childhood, considering they are fresh to their surroundings and acknowledge rarely about the real world. That's the principle of the nature. As is known to all, sports is healthy. It's favorable to their growth not only physically,but also mentally. To give you my dance teacher as an example, she enjoyed dance and swim when she was young. For one thing, she shaped an almost perfect body. For another, she will dance or swim to relax whenever she's in blue mind. However, with the connection between the sports and contest, hardly can the child feel enthusiastic deep in heart, not to mention sport for relax when they struggle with heavy work.
Secondly, It's probable to spoil their character. There's a saying" The childhood shows a man's destiny." Their experience dominate a considerable part in determing their character. It must be a desaster if a kid spend too much time on competition but not what they are keen on. Under this circumstance, we can imagine , in the future, they will be aggressive, show no mercy to their companion, don't comprehend the meaning of life. Even worse, if they fail in the contest, they will possiblely loose confidence and won't take sports possitively any more. As far as I'm concerned, I've ever compete for swimming at the age of 7, unfortuately, I got the lowest sore among all participants, which left me in the shadow.Undoubtly, I was not willing to swim for a long time.
Especially, to further explore another main character in detail, they feasiblely becom more reliant to parents . As they saying goes," The parents should not impose their viewpoint on their understrapper." Nevertheless, most of them just do as the opposite. It's the parents who make decisions to let the kids match instead of the kids themselves, which will definitely lead to the result that they are customed to be forced to do things regardless of their own thoughts. I convince that they will be more independent if they can choose to play sports they fancy.
In short, as for the child, owing to their natual instinct and the potential influence on personality, playing sports for amusement weigh much more significant than competetion.
Sentence: This phenomenon has drew me into a deep thinking for a long time.
Description: A verb 'to have', present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, past tense
Suggestion: Refer to has and drew
Sentence: Their experience dominate a considerable part in determing their character.
Description: The fragment experience dominate a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace dominate with verb, past tense
Sentence: It must be a desaster if a kid spend too much time on competition but not what they are keen on.
Description: The fragment kid spend too is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace spend with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: Their experience dominate a considerable part in determing their character.
Error: determing Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It must be a desaster if a kid spend too much time on competition but not what they are keen on.
Error: desaster Suggestion: disaster
Sentence: Even worse, if they fail in the contest, they will possiblely loose confidence and won't take sports possitively any more.
Error: possitively Suggestion: positively
Error: possiblely Suggestion: possible
Sentence: As far as I'm concerned, I've ever compete for swimming at the age of 7, unfortuately, I got the lowest sore among all participants, which left me in the shadow.Undoubtly, I was not willing to swim for a long time.
Error: unfortuately Suggestion: unfortunately
Sentence: Especially, to further explore another main character in detail, they feasiblely becom more reliant to parents .
Error: feasiblely Suggestion: feasible
Error: becom Suggestion: become
Sentence: It's the parents who make decisions to let the kids match instead of the kids themselves, which will definitely lead to the result that they are customed to be forced to do things regardless of their own thoughts.
Error: customed Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In short, as for the child, owing to their natual instinct and the potential influence on personality, playing sports for amusement weigh much more significant than competetion.
Error: natual Suggestion: natural
Error: competetion Suggestion: competition
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.963 21.0
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.215 0.35
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 431 350
No. of Characters: 2039 1500
No. of Different Words: 247 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.556 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.731 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.671 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.963 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.265 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.407 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.215 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.409 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5