Do you think it's the telephone or television more important?

Essay topics:

Do you think it's the telephone or television more important?

Time seems like a river. The world is developing along the river. There are always new technologies emerging and being replaced rapidly during the way. Nowadays, both telephone and television are the revolutionary inventions and have been used widely all over the world. We can not even live without them. As the river is still flowing, neither of them could escape from being replaced. However, If I have to choose a more significant implement in my daily life, it definitely goes to the television. I would explore my two fundamental ones as follows.

The main reason is that television contributes to the family's cohesion. It's still conventional for whole Chinese family menbers to sit around and watch TV together. Take the fast developing world into account, the children are struggling in school, the parents devote themselves to their work. As a result, no matter the children or the parents don't have enough time to communicate, there's no doubt that they don't have common topic to talk except education. Fortunately, we have television nowadays, when they go back home, they can watch the program, the movie, or the TV series together. Consequently, they can discuss which movie star is their favorite, what's the top news today, ect. Furthermore, the generation gap can probably disappear. For instance, in my household, the happiest time is the New Year's Eve, we will watch the evening program together after the dinner. At the same time, we are found of eating snacks, make fun of the star , compare the program to the last year. We enjoy it and keep in good relationship.

The accumulation of knowledge also account for my preference. As for me, I've learned a lot from the television but not the computer, which is considered the most important technology of 21st century. For one thing, we see the pictures and watch the videos on the TV instead of reading the words. On the contrary, we have to read the words on the computer in the most cases. The difference is that the vivid pictures or videos is much more attractive and memorable. For another, The TV are categorized by the station which select the specific material, that means, we can choose our concern from the varies topic. For example, I'm a student major in Finance, I concentrate on the economic station only, so I try to get information of their agenda, so I will stick to view the '30min for economic news' every 10pm, from which, I have build up comprehensive examples for the theory in our book.

To draw my conclusion, television weighs much more essential for me. When I get married and have a house, the most primary domestic equipment I have to buy is undoubtedly a incredibly big television.

Votes
Average: 8.5 (2 votes)
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Comments

Sentence: As a result, no matter the children or the parents don't have enough time to communicate, there's no doubt that they don't have common topic to talk except education.
Description: Can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: For another, The TV are categorized by the station which select the specific material, that means, we can choose our concern from the varies topic.
Description: The fragment , The TV is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to varies and topic

Sentence: For example, I'm a student major in Finance, I concentrate on the economic station only, so I try to get information of their agenda, so I will stick to view the '30min for economic news' every 10pm, from which, I have build up comprehensive examples for the theory in our book.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and build

Sentence: It's still conventional for whole Chinese family menbers to sit around and watch TV together.
Error: menbers Suggestion: members

flaws:
Still need to polish some sentences. for example, don't always use 'I' as subject. Look:

For example, I'm a student major in Finance, I concentrate on the economic station only, so I try to get information of their agenda, so I will stick to view the '30min for economic news' every 10pm, from which, I have build up comprehensive examples for the theory in our book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 2154 1500
No. of Different Words: 252 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.652 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.654 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.148 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.532 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.247 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.402 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5