IF U COULD CHANGE ONE THING IN YOUR HOMETOWN,, WHAT WOULD U CHANGE.USE REASONS AND EXAMPLES

There are many systems in my town that have to change to build a good city.If i have a chance to change one thing, i will prefer to change water supply and power supply.

Water is basic need for everyone so water supply system should be good.In my hometown water supply is not good.For many colonies, tap water is coming twice a week. This is not at all fair and for this i want to introduce more resources of water. I want to educate people in my city about how to utilize rain water and how can we reduce the waste of water. For example after washing clothes we can use that water to pour on plants. By motivating citizens by my ideas i will lead to build a city without water problem. And also i will take care of water purification system. Impure water affects health of many people and increasing diseases.

Second thing i want to change is power supply. Sometimes power availability is only for six hours which mostly affects the people who are doing agriculture. We can' t produce more power but we can change the power supply system. "How much should supply and to which areas and when to supply" By this we can make a good power supply.

In summer, i will cut off the current in morning times only because it will be horrible if current is not there in afternoon.In winter, anyways there will be reduced use of power because of cool temperature.So i will order to supply more power to the field areas so that they can benefit and it will not affect other people also.

By this way i want to change my city.It will be more satisfying for me to modify this things in my hometown as a citizen.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Sentence: By this way i want to change my city.It will be more satisfying for me to modify this things in my hometown as a citizen.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and things

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 145 200

Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.

Use capital I instead of 'i'

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 306 350
No. of Characters: 1269 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.182 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.147 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.13 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 77 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 38 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 18 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 11 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.783 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.398 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.624 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.179 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5