Integrated writing task 1

Essay topics:

Integrated writing task 1

reading lecture claimed that sea otters population has declined due to certain environmental pollutions. However, the listening lecture contradicts it by mentioning that the presence of predators had potential role for such phenomena.

First, the reading indicated that the first reason of holding the opinion that sea otter number decreased due to environmental pollution is that the presence of increased industrial chemicals in the water samples collected for analysis. Moreover, it draws a conclusion that this high level of pollutants adversilly affected the breathing of sea otters leading to their death. In contradiction, the lecturer reported that there were no died animals in that area which might occur as a resultif there really was a pollution, thus support the claim that the presence of predators caused population decline.

Second, according to the reading section, the absence of other sea mammals indicates that only pollutants might deserve such effect on the whole ecosystem. Meanwhile, such result might be caused due to predators like orca, but hence it prefers large wales so it is not the reason. On the other hand, the lecturer argued that predators like orca is the second reason for the deteriorated number of sea mammals. This predator turned into sea mammals such as lions, otters, and seals due to the decrease of its preferable diet represented in large wales.

Third, in the reading it is water currents and pollution that caused this uneven distribution of sea otter among different places. However, the professor in the listening lecture conveyed that such uneven pattern of otter’s population came from that predators can not access to shallow and rocky locations where their preys of sea otters live, while they can easily captured in deeper areas where their population was reported to decrease.

To sum up, the lecturer contradicted the reading’s claim about the causes of sea otter population and reported that it was endangered by certain predators instead of environmental factors and pollution.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (4 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Sentence: Moreover, it draws a conclusion that this high level of pollutants adversilly affected the breathing of sea otters leading to their death.
Error: adversilly Suggestion: adversely

Sentence: In contradiction, the lecturer reported that there were no died animals in that area which might occur as a resultif there really was a pollution, thus support the claim that the presence of predators caused population decline.
Error: resultif Suggestion: result

flaws:
Need to remove repetitive words.

The correct pattern is like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 12 9
No. of Words: 322 250
No. of Characters: 1684 1200
No. of Different Words: 164 120
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.236 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.23 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.708 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.281 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.395 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.666 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4