A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

Essay topics: A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

zeezoo's picture

Everyone prefers to live in a place where he or she adapts on it. So if one person who settles on specific area and decides to move on another place, he or she will find a difficulties to adjust in the new town, because he will found a huge gap and differences between an old and new city, he will benefit from some of them and dislike the others. The good example to clarify what I said before is about my friend when he decided to move from his city to mine.

First of all, I live in downtown, it’s a very development city includes many different company, which provides a great opportunity for finding a good job with high salary, that is the most important thing that will courage my friend to move and live in my town, because the economic on his city is not good, that is why his salary is so little and not enough to live in good level. In addition, he will build up a new friendship, because in my city he will meet many people from different culture and knowledge.

Second, another advantage that makes my friend so excited to live in my metropolis is good transportation facilities. Due to its excellent service that provides a comfort and pleasure to the people, my friend feel that these facilities can save many money and effort to transfer from place to another, while in his town he wait several hours until arriving of the bus to go to his work, so he arrived to his job too late. So by transferring to the new house he will find everything so easy.

Third, I mentioned before some of benefits that attract my friend to like living in my town, while I also think there are some of hardness that he may dislike them. Since he lived in town that characterized by claim, but after he will move to the new one he will suffer from the noise of it. Another negative point is congestion; it’s the main problem in my city, I strongly agree with him about this point, but it’s become normal thing with respect to me, while with respect to my friend it a big problem until he accustomed to him.

To sum up, everyplace has its advantages that attract any one to live in it, but at the same time it has dark side to pose a problem to another.

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Sentence: So if one person who settles on specific area and decides to move on another place, he or she will find a difficulties to adjust in the new town, because he will found a huge gap and differences between an old and new city, he will benefit from some of them and dislike the others.
Description: The word found is not usually used as a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to found

Sentence: Due to its excellent service that provides a comfort and pleasure to the people, my friend feel that these facilities can save many money and effort to transfer from place to another, while in his town he wait several hours until arriving of the bus to go to his work, so he arrived to his job too late.
Description: The fragment friend feel that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace feel with verb, past tense
Description: The fragment he wait several is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace wait with verb, past tense

Sentence: Another negative point is congestion; it's the main problem in my city, I strongly agree with him about this point, but it's become normal thing with respect to me, while with respect to my friend it a big problem until he accustomed to him.
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by the
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to he and accustomed

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

You have same grammar issues in all of your essays. Can you figure them out and remove them in your next essay?

Also need to polish sentences.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 407 350
No. of Characters: 1700 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.492 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.177 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.344 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.232 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.436 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.671 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.264 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

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