Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such salaries? Use spesific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such salaries? Use spesific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Sports are appealing activities for not only people who are watching and betting on them but also athletes occupied with them. Most sportsmen and sportswomen are interested in sports because of the fact that there are opportunities to earn tremendous salaries when they can become famous athletes. This situation is valid for famed entertainers. These high salaries have aftermaths regards to both social and economical aspects. So, i believe that expenses of million dollars on famous athletes or entertainers are unnecessary.

Some sports like football and basketball gain more interests than others, because they provide high salaries for eminent football players and basketball players. Therefore, those who earn much money from football or basketball don’t spend their salaries responsibly. Sometimes, they waste their money on gambling, drugs or alcohol. Some famous entertainers do the same thing, too. As a result, youngsters who tend to imitate these distinguished people, have the same attitudes to spend their limited money on harmful areas. Furthermore, youth who realize that being a famed athlete facilitates to earn much money than other occupations or jobs in which they could be more successful, they don’t search better businesses to work in. So, spending lots of money on well known sports players or comedians cause some social drawbacks.

Famous athletes, especially footballers or basketballers, are bound to their sports clubs which pay them. These clubs generally encounter the problem which is about continueing to hold these players as members. So, these institutions have to allocate much more money for the branches in which famous athletes occupied. Thus, other sports branches don’t get enough money and interest to develop economically. Similarly, some television channels struggle to sustain the programmes which are hosted or performed by eminent entertainers in association with high salaries that are required by famed comedians. Thereby, the broadcasting foundations sometimes have economical difficulty in allowing the expenses on these programmes. In this context, there are also economical cons of excessive expenditures on reputed people.

To cut long to short, distinguished sports players and entertainers who gain millions of dollars, cause some disadvantages related to both social and economical impacts. So i insist that it is not necessary that distinguished athletes and entertainers are incredibly paid.

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Sentence: Sports are appealing activities for not only people who are watching and betting on them but also athletes occupied with them.
Description: not only ... but also ... is not used properly

Sentence: These clubs generally encounter the problem which is about continueing to hold these players as members.
Error: continueing Suggestion: continuing

flaws:
The essay is not on the topic exactly.

The topic is: Do you think these people deserve such salaries? while you are writing: after they got the big salaries, what are the results.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 9
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 2037 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.476 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.931 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.748 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.466 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5