Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child’s basic education.
Art, music and drama are playing an inevitable role in nowadays human life. They are used to shape the people minds and transferring information through a different way, a soft and lovely way. I think these materials should be a part of the child's basic education part for three main reasons.
The chief reason is, these kinds of arts help the child's mind to develop faster and better, because as the anthropologists claim, arts have an astounding effect on mind and it's development factors, they state that when a child grew with kind of arts like music, they will have better performance and will be more capable of being more intelligent than their peers, they will think faster and they can be nice decision makers comparing to others.
The next reason is, the effect of spreading the child's imagination potential by such arts like music or drama. When a child listen to a music or read a drama book or see a drama movie, he will dive into his imagination and beyond of his spirit by thinking out of any boxes. For example a lovely music by a great musician activates his sense of loving and imagination and he also can reach a great ability of facing these senses in future, because these kinds of sense desire great imaginations.
Furthermore, arts make the child’s mind multi-dimensional. As a child get involve in art materials, he will get more information about his mind dimensions, and also he can use them better than his peers whom are just catching on their books. Scientifics state that, the ability of thinking parallel in humans whom are dealing with art is much better than others, and they can perform with high efficiency than others in same situations.
The other reason is, shaping the child’s abilities in communication and group working. For example, when a child participate in a music band, he will learn how important is to be a harmonic part of a group, and how it will be harmful if he wants to act individually without thinking about the circumstances and results. This will shape his mind that he must be a part of a group to get the best results.
As a result, art brings about great abilities and changes in a child. They can motivate them toward a better life while being successful in other fields, they can rise people and give them lovely senses, which is hard to inquire in other fields. People with sense of art are mostly better communicators and are well-shaped personality, so in my opinion it is highly recommended to make these materials as an important part of child’s educations.
to shape the people minds
to shape the people's minds
better than his peers whom are
better than his peers who are
Sentence: The chief reason is, these kinds of arts help the child's mind to develop faster and better, because as the anthropologists claim, arts have an astounding effect on mind and it's development factors, they state that when a child grew with kind of arts like music, they will have better performance and will be more capable of being more intelligent than their peers, they will think faster and they can be nice decision makers comparing to others.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to it's and development
Sentence: When a child listen to a music or read a drama book or see a drama movie, he will dive into his imagination and beyond of his spirit by thinking out of any boxes.
Description: The fragment child listen to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace listen with verb, past participle
Sentence: For example a lovely music by a great musician activates his sense of loving and imagination and he also can reach a great ability of facing these senses in future, because these kinds of sense desire great imaginations.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to desire and great
Sentence: For example, when a child participate in a music band, he will learn how important is to be a harmonic part of a group, and how it will be harmful if he wants to act individually without thinking about the circumstances and results.
Description: The fragment child participate in is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace participate with verb, past participle
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 443 while No. of Different Words: 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 443 350
No. of Characters: 2042 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.588 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.609 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.624 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.354 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.625 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5