Personal History Statement

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Personal History Statement

When I was 2 years old, in order to catch the trend of Chinese Reforms and Opening-up, my father went to Shenzhen to start his printed circuit board (PCB) manufacture business. My father seldom came back to Taiwan because of busy work and strained relation with People Republic of China. During the first time I went to visit my father, I realized what my father was doing in China and saw how poor China was 18 years ago; however, every year I visited Shenzhen, every time I witnessed the skyrocketed development of this opening-up city, Shenzhen: the small sea port turned out to be a bustling metropolis in such few years. Therefore, I regarded these policies and decision-making which made by early leader of People Republic of China as marvelous. Also, I really admire their government.

As time goes by, my thoughts changed when I was a college student who majored in Chemical Engineering. The knowledge I learned from my department enabled me to look deeper into the process of PCB production. Fortunately, my father, as a factory manager, offered me a chance to visit the factory. I was very excited to really have access to the real PCB manufacture factory and watch the process of PCB producing. But, in addition to the industrial process, I was taken back because I saw lots of workers were doing their job in harmful and dangerous environment. They didn’t have anything to protect themselves from chemicals and reagents which might cause chronic disease. That was entirely different from the images from the website picture.

In Asia, especially Chinese region (China, Taiwan, Singapore, Hong Kong), the labor rights has always been depressed. In traditional Chinese view, the workers have to be always in compliance with directives of the leadership. They have limit right to strike. For example, if worker blame for low wages and working overtime without additional payment, the managers will say that you should responsible for your low wages because you did not work hard and effectively enough. (They always have reasons not to give raises.) Actually, the companies incline to lessen the staff cost instead of other expenditure. Even though collective action by workers, including strikes, has been successfully in many cases and is bringing employers to the bargaining table, the conditions did not dramatically change.

With the great power, comes from the great responsibility. However, in East Asia, the people with exceptional power often stand on safe place and avoid taking the risks, let alone spare no effort to work. Those people own lots of wealth but do almost nothing positive to contribute to our society. On the other hand, the workers with little power take most of risks and do their best but receive few benefit and, ironically, make great contribution. Moreover, those rich and powerful people like to invest in properties which they believe to be relatively safer and stable than putting money in research and technology. That’s why we got enormous economic growth but most of people still struggle to live. The house price no longer affordable and inflation brought a plenty of pressure to people in society. Apparently, money is dominated by the people who have power and wealth and flow into their pockets. As a result, large inequity occurred in Taiwanese society. People protest their right against the government and wish the government can solve these problems; nevertheless, the entangled relationship between government and corporations pulled the people back to their humble position. The government was sold to those corporation with great influence.

My mom always told me that you cannot change these situations alone and just study hard and find a safe position in the government. However, as a Taiwanese citizen, should I be aware of those serious problems but ignore them? No. If these problems exist, my country will collapse. We cannot live without country especially with the threat of China. As a future engineer, I devote to eliminate the severe problems, not just problems in chemical processes and experiments.

So, I want to run a company which is to create things but not earn things. That is, I want to generate the profit that can be shared by all of people in company but not exploit the labor’s effort and capital to earn money for myself. I know it is very arduous task, so I study hard during my college time. Besides the academic achievement, I participated in YEF start-up competition and meet lots of people who have same ideas and wants to make changes. Moreover, I learn that it is more possible to be successful to pursue higher education in U.S.A and find opportunity to found a company. In fact, my senior said that the vested interest group in Taiwan would not hope for changes. Therefore, I believe that America would be a possible place to achieve my goal due to American healthy system, laws and relatively friendly environment.

Unlike some people protest to their right against the government and companies, I want to be one of powerful person who can make decision and make tangible changes. Last year, Sun Flower Student Movement happened and catch lots of people’s attention. One of their main demands was for a law allowing for greater public oversight of such cross-strait agreements, to be implemented before this particular services pact is passed. Nonetheless, the changes limited and government still find another way to avoid being oversighted by citizens. Thus, I believe that in order to make real changes, I have to be one of decision-maker, at least to be an individual who can affect decision-making.

In the future, the problems won’t just come from chemical processes. In fact, more problems come from the interaction between people live in society. In history of Taiwan, many people advocate for Taiwanese democracy and lots of them died and compensated for democracy of Taiwan and Taiwanese welfare. Maybe no one would remember them, but their changes truly have great impact on Taiwan. Now, it is my turn to be responsible for Taiwan’s future. I don’t expect to be bear in mind by people, I just hope for changes, for good changes, for any possible kind.

Who has seen the wind? Neither I nor you. But when the leaves trembling. The wind is passing through. Who has ever known me? Neither you nor people. But the world changes and wind rises. I do make the world better.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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because I saw lots of workers were doing their job in harmful and dangerous environment.
because I saw lots of workers who were doing their job in a harmful and dangerous environment.

the labor rights has always been depressed.
the labor rights have always been depressed.

if worker blame for low wages
if workers blame for low wages

you should responsible
you should be responsible

With the great power, comes from the great responsibility.
With the great power, it comes from the great responsibility.

The house price no longer affordable
The house price is no longer affordable

it is very arduous task
it is a very arduous task

Unlike some people protest to their right against the government and companies, I want to be
Unlike some people who protest to their right against the government and companies, I want to be

But when the leaves trembling.
But when the leaves are trembling.

Sentence: As time goes by, my thoughts changed when I was a college student who majored in Chemical Engineering.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to who and majored

Sentence: Moreover, I learn that it is more possible to be successful to pursue higher education in U.S.A and find opportunity to found a company.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and found

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 61 15
No. of Words: 1072 350
No. of Characters: 5161 1500
No. of Different Words: 507 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.722 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.814 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.624 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 378 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 274 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 172 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 105 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.574 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.815 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.525 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.206 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.433 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 9 5