Review

Submitted by Ajayvir on Wed, 08/29/2018 - 00:16

Hello please can any one review my essay and give me suggestions. Please help

Hi meera,

I will help you with your essay. Please share your essay with me.

I will let you know if there is any room for improvement or not.
Though, I am not an expert. But I will try my best.

While some people keep working in a business until they retire, others thought that it is preferable to labour for various companies in one’s working life. In my opinion, I consider that people can enjoy the benefit of speedy promotion and job stability when working with a firm till until their retirement.

On the one hand, some critics argue that one can be promoted earlier than expected after working with a company for a long period of time. Supporters of this view claim that some companies have the policy of rewarding loyal employees with promotions after few years of their service. I agree that it is worthwhile to work with a single firm in one’s life time because one can attain the highest position for being loyal. To illustrate this, at the age of 40 years, May Charles was made the Group Managing Director of Grail, a multinational corporation because of her 21 years of active service. Furthermore, a proportion of the population also claimed that people who work in an organization in their entire working life enjoy job stability. In other words, they are not likely to be sacked or retrenched for any reason because they must have understood the structure and policy of the company as well as being in long service with the company.

On the other hand, other people believe that people ought to work at different firm to earn better wages. Advocates of this view argue that huge salary should be the motivation for employees in workforce. Thus, workers should work with range of companies that give the best incentives and remuneration. In addition, people change employers because they get bored with their jobs easily. That is, these set of people find their jobs extremely routine since they keep doing the same thing and see same faces every day. Consequently, they get tired and demotivated doing the jobs. For example, in 2012, The Time newspaper reported that 35 percent of secondary school teachers in the UK have worked in no more than four different schools because they are bored doing the same thing always.

In conclusion, while some argue that boredom and high paying salary are reasons to change jobs before retirement, in my opinion, I believe people should remain in one job to enjoy unmerited elevation and stability before they quit working.

- Introduction statement could be improved, there are minor mistakes like - till..until used at the same time in line no. 4.

- do not start paragraph with 'on the one hand', instead, start with - To begin with, firstly etc.. and for second paragraph use starters like - In addition, secondly, on the other hand, furthermore etc..

Thanks
Basant kumar

Please house I really need help with my essay. I have just 3 weeks to my IELTS exam. Can anyone kindly help me correct my essay and put me through how to write good essays.

Modernisation in lifestyle of most parent's effect the future of their children. Some people believe that change in lifestyle of parent's has effected the destiny of their child while others do not think so. This essay will discuss both side of argument in detail.

Different behaviour and culture of individuals has hampered the growth of the child. Life of both parent's in today's world has become challenging, sparing time for their child has become the toughest job for every individual. Children have gone out of hands of there parents. Watching TV, using mobile phones and easy access to internet as effected the child life.

However, some parents keep an eye on the changes of there children by talking to them on daily basis. Distance relationship sometimes teaches student to manage there life in every situation. Now-a-days, a parent send their child to day boarding school to teach them manners and habits of doing work. It is said, child matures when put to boarding schools. Things which a parent's cannot teach them are also taught. Sending students to kindergarten make them independent and a gud learner. Competing with other students will make them efficient and will take part in every program.

To conclude, both things have positive and negative effects. In my opinion, it is necessary in today's society for both the parent to do work and get busy in there schedule.